The Cardinal House

Why Homeschool?

2011-08-08T23:08:00.001-04:00

"What is the point of education?

Is it to socialize young people so they can fit into the fabric of society? Is it to train a workforce? Is it to introduce young people to the greater possibilities that life has to offer?

These are all legitimate and, therefore, correct answers.

But they leave out the most profound purpose that education might have:

helping young people learn how to create the lives they truly want to create."

- Peter Senge, from Schools That Learn -

How Can Homeschooling Help A Child Learn To Create The Lives They Truly Want?

Homeschooling provides more:

1. TIME:

- there is more time for the child to focus on his/her interests

- academic

- extra-curricular activities

- there is no unnecessary waiting time because there is only 1 student

- there is more time to accomplish... well, more!


What's my son interested in? STAR WARS! So, we have done A LOT of Star Wars Phonics, Math, Science and Art. (see below under How To Homeschool)

2. FLEXIBILITY:

- curricula can be individually tailored to the student's learning style and interest

- student can set the pace of studies (student can spend longer periods of time studying interest areas)

3. ONE ON ONE INSTRUCTION with an involved parent or parents:

- an involved adult is available 24-7 to listen to the needs and wants of the child

- the involved adult is available to guide the student accordingly

Homeschooling: A Viable Option?

Today, in the US, homeschooling is fast becoming a mainstream educational option. In 2003, there were 1.1 million K to 12 homeschooled students in the US. By 2010, homeschoolers have doubled to around 2.04 million - although this number is very conservative and some studies have shown as many as 2.35 million.

More and more people are turning to homeschooling as a viable educational option as homeschoolers' achievements are gaining more attention and as the benefits of homeschooling become more well-known.

According to the president of the National Home Education Research Institute,

- academically, home schooled kids test 15 to 30 percentile points higher than public school students on standardized academic achievement tests, regardless of their parent's level of formal education or household income.

- socially, emotionally and psychologically, homeschooled kids show that they are above average in "peer interaction, self-concept, leadership skills, family cohesion, participation in community service, and self-esteem."

If you are worried about socialization, just know that because homeschooling is becoming more popular, there are more activities with other kids than we can get to each week! In our city, there are homeschool days at the library, museums and zoo!

Reasons To Homeschool

“Education commences at the mother's knee...”

~ Hosea Ballou ~

Besides the educational benefits cited above (having more time, flexibility and one-on-one instruction), homeschooling can also create an environment that:

1. builds better family ties because of time spent together, which

- allows parents the time to teach their children their own values, beliefs and worldview (i.e. children don't learn these from another adult with different belief systems)

- provides a safer environment guided by involved parents which reduces peer pressure related issues, such as sex and violence, and drug, alcohol and psychological abuse (i.e. children are not brought up by other children)

2. provides a variety of social interactions and experiences for the homeschooler because

- the homeschooled child does not interact mostly with other children his age for hours everyday

- the homeschooled child is therefore able to meet and interact with people of all ages on a daily basis through activities.

How To Homeschool

There are many methods out there. Here are our favorite methods:

Charlotte Mason


Our son's 'tree house': we are outdoors at least 30 minutes to a few hours a day

Narration (instead of Q&A): creating his own characters to act out scenes from a story

We love the Charlotte Mason method for 5 main reasons:

1. NATURE WALKS and being in nature
2. reading LIVING BOOKS that make subjects come alive
3. NARRATION instead of tests (child can relate to what he/she has learned by acting out, retelling a story, through art, etc.)
4. SHORT LESSONS 10 - 15 minutes each (alternating between easy/difficult, passive/active subjects) in the morning
5. PLAY TIME in the afternoon.

This method also emphasizes art and music appreciation, arts and crafts and real-life experiences. Lastly, I love that the Charlotte Mason method believes in teaching young children habits first before anything else.

Click here for more information on the Charlotte Mason Method.

Unit Studies

We have linked everything back to Star Wars

A topic is chosen according to the child's or children's interest and all subjects are related back to it. Very simplistically, for example, my son loves Star Wars, so we created a Fun Star Wars curriculum for him at home. There is no other way to motivate a child to learn but through his or her passions. What did/do we do?

4 year old learning to write: "For Mama From Luke I need help finding Captain Rex"

Language

read all the Star Wars books we could get, copy work with Star Wars names, phonics with Star Wars characters, watch Star wars movies (except III for violence) with subtitles

Maths
Star Wars Math CD Rom game, Star Wars Leapfrog Math Didj game, learn addition and subtraction by using Star Wars characters

Darth Vadar Arts and Crafts: learning about Samurais and how the character of Darth Vadar developed and eat Japanese food while you're at it for Geography too!

History
study Samurais and how Darth Vadar's character came into being, study swords, knights, ninjas...

Philosophy
discuss meditation, yoga, martial arts, Buddhism

Learning about Planets

Science
learn about planets (read Lucy Hawking's books see below under resources), Star Wars Leapfrog Science Didj game

Music
learn to play Star Wars theme on the keyboard, learn music themes for Luke and Darth Vadar, learn which piece of music comes at certain scenes in the movie

Fencing Demo

Field trips
Star Wars exhibit, fencing demonstration

Physical Education

lightsaber fighting (get a MAN to do this! I find it exhausting.)

Classical Method

If you are serious about homeschooling, I would suggest getting The Well Trained Mind, which describes in detail how and what to teach a child from preschool to high school. There are 3 stages of education: preparing stage (basic reading, writing, maths), grammar stage (compositions and collections) and dialectic stage (serious reading, study, research). This approach is very structured and stresses that children be taught how to learn for themselves by using the 5 tools: reason, record, research, related and rhetoric. I love that they include daily schedule samples, which we have mimicked in our homeschool.

Not All Homeschools Are Created Equal

Like all things, not all homeschools are created equal. A very recent study entitled “The Impact of Schooling on Academic Achievement: Evidence from Homeschooled and Traditionally Schooled Students,” found that there are 2 distinct types of homeschoolers: 'structured' and 'unstructured'. Structured Homeschoolers have a curriculum they follow and have a daily set schedule for formal learning. Unstructured Homeschoolers, on the other hand, do not follow a curriculum and do not have a daily set schedule for formal learning. Unschooling is the most unstructured method of homeschooling. It is also known as natural, interest-led and child-led learning. Instead of formal lessons, children learn simply by living.

The study compared test scores of students ages 5 to 10 from traditional schooling, unstructured home schools and structured home schools. While the 'structured' homeshoolers tested better than students from traditional schooling, the 'unstructured' homeschoolers tested below the average.

Interestingly, a public school study called Project Follow Through conducted in the 1960s and 70s also shows that a method rich in structure, drilling and content is far more effective than other teaching methods.

A Mama's Point of View: I Love Homeschooling!

I'm such a homebody and there's nobody else I love being with than with my family. I get to cuddle and read a book with my son in leisure first thing every morning and my son can expect and rely on his daily sacred Mama and Daddy time. We get to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks together as a family everyday, we can travel throughout the year without being bogged down by certain holidays and we are able to enjoy museums and other educational facilities when they aren't crowded. I love being a homeschool 'mama/teacher'. If you've ever made a homemade toy that your child just loved, then you'll know the feeling of joy that comes when you homeschool your own child.

Curricula Suggestions/Resources for Young Kids

I use a lot of curricula suggested in The Well-Trained Mind, but here are some that my visual son really really loves.

For Preschoolers:

Core Knowledge Pre-K Book and Activity Books 1 and 2 - my son loved these because of the bright colours, the stories, the stickers and activities. I loved it because I didn't have to do any work, it is all done for you!

Tools of the Mind - a must read for preschooler and kindergarten educators who want to teach while at play!

For Kindergarteners on:

Core Knowledge Series: What Your "x" Grader Needs To Know - basic need-to-know stuff

Hooked on Phonics - My son loves these! It makes learning phonics fun for kids.

Little Passports - a fun way to learn Geography, complete with your own passport and suitcase!

Magic School Bus series - for science fun! Also check out Lucy and Stephen Hawking's books on the Universe

Magic Tree House series - for geography, history and culture

Math-U-See - we started out with Singapore Maths, but for a visual kid, these come with videos which makes it more engaging.

Favourite Ipad Apps:

Art: Art Authority
Chinese: Piggy Picnic, loveChinese
Language: Montessori Intro to Letters, Word Wagon, Lunchbox
Math: Montessori Intro to Math, Math Train, Rocket Math

Music: Young Genius, Garage Band
Reference: BrainPop

Our 4 Year Old Comic

2011-05-20T00:53:00.000-04:00

Having long hair, everyone thinks our son is a girl.

Daddy: Son! Zack thinks you're a girl. Tell him, are you a girl or a boy?
Son: A Girl! (Pause and Big Smile) Gotcha!

I Have An Attached Family

2011-05-18T00:49:00.004-04:00

For no pay, I have willingly: given birth at home, cleaned my child’s boogers, pee and poop, breastfed on demand for more than 2 years, responded to baby whenever he cried, not slept for more than 3-4 hour stretches for 4 years, lugged baby in a carrier until he was a toddler of 35 pounds, massaged baby daily, turned down meetings/parties/events if children were not allowed, chosen not to work, chosen not to have a nanny, decreased any semblance of social life to kid's play dates and everyday family life. But who's complaining, my husband was there every step of the way and we have loved almost every minute of it.

On our wedding day, my husband and I exchanged our own personal wedding vows to:

· respect each other

· treat each other as equals

· trust each other

· put each other before other family, job and selfish pride

· communicate with each other

· share unselfishly with each other

· say sorry when at fault

· support and encourage each other

· hold hands always

· stick together

· be faithful

· be healthy so we can live longer together

· keep our friendship strong, and

· strive not to be separated for more than a night.

These promises are the sincere goals of our marriage. Naturally, when the little creature we created together came into our world, these same promises carried over to how we choose to parent and interact as a family. This is why we believe in Attachment Parenting.

What is Attachment Parenting?

Attachment Parenting focuses on loving, nurturing and respecting a child and creating strong bonds between parent and child. It does not use isolation, violence and aggression in raising a child. According to Attachment Parenting International, its goal is to “fulfill a child's need for trust, empathy, and affection and… provide a foundation for a lifetime of healthy relationships.” Many studies today, such as Dr. Darcia Narvaez’s “The Decline of Children and the Moral Sense” are documenting the relationship between Attachment Parenting and a child’s “intelligence, cooperation, conscience, empathy, self-control, aggression and depression.”

How To Attachment Parent

(quotes from Attachment Parent International)

The following 8 principles are important in building a more securely attached bond between parent and child:

1. Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting because in educating oneself, a parent-to-be is able to make more informed decisions.

Our first step in parenting was choosing to give birth at home. Since then, I have been constantly reading up on parenting books, websites and magazines from nutrition and discipline to education issues.

2. Feed with love and respect by giving baby what he/she needs and respecting when he/she wants it.

I chose to breastfeed on demand and allowed baby to wean himself at 2 ½ years old. When baby nurses from mother’s breast, hormones are sent to Mama's body to tell her what baby needs. We wanted to make sure our baby got what he needed. Today, I’m a Mama in my Kitchen and I make sure healthy unprocessed foods are in abundance at our house.

3. Respond with sensitivity by quickly soothing baby when he/she cries.

We had tried the mainstream “let the baby cry it out” method once. After a whole hour, our baby became very anxious, super clingy and high-strung – not at all the calm, peaceful and happy baby we knew. It was obvious that isolation was not the best response we as parents could give our baby.

Interestingly, responding with sensitivity also affects how quickly children learn to communicate. The authors of Nurtureshock discovered that it's not just the vast vocabulary heard at home that makes a child talk at a younger age, but more importantly, how fast, how many times and how accurate a parent interprets and responds to an infant who is trying to communicate.

4. Use nurturing touch when interacting with baby.

We promoted skin-to-skin contact through constant carrying of baby in a carrier, daily massages and infinite amounts of daily cuddles. Today, not a day goes by without cuddles when we first wake, cuddles at bedtime and cuddles throughout the day. When he is upset, mad and especially after being told he has done something wrong, we make sure we always soothe with some cuddles

5. Ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally by co-sleeping or bed-sharing.

We decided not to co-sleep or bed-share in Mama and Daddy’s bedroom after our son was 4 months old. Instead, we moved him to his own room where he preferred sleeping on the floor. When he called during the night, I would end up co-sleeping on his bed. Now 4 ½, he still calls me 1 or 2 times a week during the night. My husband asked him just today, “Why do you still call Mama in the middle of the night?” Matter-of-factly, my son replied “Because I love hugging my Mama.” Enough said! I’m taking full advantage until he doesn’t want Mama cuddles anymore.

6. Provide consistent loving care because “[b]abies and young children have an intense need for the physical presence of a consistent, loving, responsive caregiver: ideally a parent. Daily care and playful, loving interactions build strong bonds.”

I am lucky because I get to be a stay-at-home Mama. We are doubly lucky because my husband works from home. We take turns daily caring for our son and enjoy time together as a family. We eat all our meals together too. Before our son was 4 years old, he had never had a babysitter – and even after then, he’s only had one babysitter once in his whole life, and she’s a cousin.

Someone once asked me, “What’s the best place to take the kids?” My response was “Anywhere we are. Some people never leave home without their credit cards. We never leave home without our son.” This is true. Our son has accompanied us on all our travels, to gallery shows, museum celebrations, business meetings and various social events. Not only is he being exposed to new people and settings, but, as parents, we get to share our time and memories with our son. Indeed, we are lucky that the people in our lives respect our parenting choice.

7. Practice positive discipline to help develop children’s self-control and self-discipline.

Parenting is not easy and sometimes I forget to be positive. When my son was 2, I was upset at him and screamed out of frustration. My son looked at me suddenly quiet and through tears said, “Mama, you hurt my heart.” Needless to say, since then I have tried to model positive discipline to strengthen our parent-child bond, not weaken it.

8. Strive for balance in family and personal life to “ensur[e] that everyone's needs -- not just the child's -- are recognized, validated, and met to the greatest extent possible.”

My husband and I have learned to adjust not having as much time together as we would wish. We make sure to spend some time alone together each day, usually after our son goes to sleep. We watch movies together or talk about topics that don't have anything to do with family and our home.

That said we really enjoy being a family. We homeschool our Kindergartener. We don’t over-schedule. We say no to various events. We make sure to prioritize our family over everything else. We prefer a stress-free and healthy lifestyle. We love being home together, but we make sure we each have our own ‘quiet time’ once a day.

Although I don’t ‘work’, I love being very active in the local community. One important role I have is as co-leader of my local Holistic Moms Network chapter, which keeps me up-to-date on different holistic ideas for the family and provides me with a very important support network for the lifestyle I have chosen. Another important factor in keeping balance in my life is keeping my passion for healthy unprocessed food alive. As a Mama Food Blogger I pour my heart into Mama in the Kitchen, and she ain’t cookin’! when everyone else is sleeping.

How We Created An Attached Family

I love that something my husband and I dreamed in our hearts entered our minds and by being deliberate spouses and deliberate parents, our dreams have become our reality.

Our goals for our marriage sustain our relationship and nourish our family life. By striving to be present in every moment, we make every effort to create a securely attached family. We love each other. We strive to respect each other, trust each other, communicate with each other, share unselfishly with each other, say sorry when at fault, support and encourage each other, put the nuclear family before other family obligations, job and selfish pride, hold hands always, stick together, be loyal and faithful, live healthily: eat well, exercise, enjoy nature, relax and de-stress together, make time for each other, do things together, be positive, have fun together and focus on strengthening bonds with each other.

I remember someone telling us once, "You don't spend a night apart? You spend 24/7 with your family? I'd kill myself if I had to spend that much time with mine!" In my mind, I was shocked because there isn't anyone else in the world I would love to be with more than my family.

I Chose To Give Birth At Home

2011-05-04T22:12:00.002-04:00

Being Weighed

My grandmother texted my phone a few weeks before my baby was due: “YOU DELIVER IN HOSPITAL. I PAY!” I laughed. It was just like her demand for our first meal in Rome on a family trip, when she exclaimed: "WE EAT CHINESE. I PAY!" Really? In Rome? The Chinese-Filipino matriarch of my Asian family is also quite the hypochondriac. For the past few decades, not a week goes by without her visiting a doctor (or two or three) for some symptom or other. So, “YOU DELIVER IN HOSPITAL. I PAY!” was something Mama would very likely say.

I texted back: “HAHA! Mama, you are so funny. Thank you but I’M STILL GIVING BIRTH AT HOME… WITHOUT A DOCTOR!” Needless to say, I kept my family worried and nervous until the day my son was born. From across the globe, they talked about hiring a doctor to be there, an ambulance service and stressed about all the possible emergencies that could arise. I’m so lucky to have people in my life who love me, but in typical Carissa fashion, I stood my ground: no doctor, no ambulance service, no extra mid-wives, no yayas (a Filipina nanny). I had done my research and I knew in my heart it was the best choice for me, my husband and my baby.

Giving birth at home was a conscious and deliberate decision my husband and I have never regretted. Giving birth at home was everything we wanted and more. Natural. Quick. Easy. Peaceful. Calm. Non-invasive. Empowering. Painless. These are all the words that describe my son's water birth at home.

WHY GIVE BIRTH AT HOME?

Because my husband and I wanted the most natural welcoming for our baby.

For Baby: We wanted a highly peaceful birth for our son: a birth that would be quiet, soothing, calm, without bright lights, loud voices, slapping of baby’s bottom, cold metal plates touching baby as it is weighed and examined, separation from mother and other traumatic procedures such as circumcision.

For Mama: We wanted the easiest and most natural childbirth experience for me: one without drugs, epidurals, episiotomy, a C-section and other typical hospital procedures that are really unnecessary: like feeling rushed and being without food during labor and delivery.

For our new Family: We wanted a birth that empowered us: mother to be fully aware during the birthing process, father to be there every step of the way to support, encourage and be part of the process like cut the umbilical chord, and baby to be truly welcomed HOME.

WHAT DID WE DO TO PREPARE?

Like anything, practice makes perfect. So, we decided to approach birthing as an athlete would prepare for a marathon. My preparation was physical, mental and in many ways spiritual. My husband was there for me and the baby every step of the way.

OUR PHYSICAL PREPARATION

I was in great shape physically before we conceived. I was at my optimal weight and health. This is important because homebirth midwives and birthing centers will prefer tending to pregnant women who are in good health as healthy mothers usually have the best chances for natural births.

Diet and Nutrition: As nutrition conscious as I am, it was easy for me to eat right. I was not a raw vegan then, but ate appropriately. I took food soluble prenatal pills, like Rainbow 6 a day, to insure all the essential vitamins for a healthy pregnancy. Food soluble pills do not cause constipation and/or stomach troubles. They also are more readily absorbed into the system than the other types of pills out there. Today, there may raw prenatal pills available.

Pre-Conception Exercise: Regular exercise helped me reach my optimum health and weight before conceiving and helped me get back into shape after delivery. Sit-ups were important in strengthening the muscles needed to ‘push’ baby out. I practiced this before getting pregnant, so I was able to continue (as long as I was comfortable) during pregnancy.

Exercise During Pregnancy: I continued with my regular routine so long as I felt comfortable. Daily yoga really helped my body deal with pregnancy aches and pains. The cat’s pose really helped with backaches. I could not live without Shiva Rea’s prenatal yoga video. Other important exercises I practiced were: Kegels and squats. Kegels help for control where it matters. Squats help stretch the sacrum. And don’t forget, body massages sooth mother-to-be!

Stretch Marks: I lathered on cocoa butter all over my tummy, thighs and hips. I did not get stretch marks. I would say coconut oil would be a great moisturizer too.

Chiropractic Work: 1 week before our due date, the chiropractor aligned my back. This helps prevent more aches and pains. First time mothers who receive chiropractic care average 24% shorter birth, 39% for those who have given birth before.

Perineal Massage: Starting week 32, I massaged my perineal area daily. This helps stretch the area and prevents tearing.

Beta- Strep Wash: Ask your midwife if it is mandatory to give your baby eye drops when he/she is born. If you can get out of it, prevent beta-strep by splashing (not douching, washing or rinsing, but splashing) a solution of chlorox and water (a capful of chlorox to 2 quarts water) down there (really the area where poop can be transferred to babies eyes) when you shower starting at week 35. This recommendation was from Shari Daniels (more on her below).

Sleep: Do this now when you can!!! I wish I had slept more!

OUR MENTAL PREPARATION

A Midwife: After researching and interviews with a few, we found Tavish, the midwife we felt most comfortable with. For my husband, this meant most importantly one with the most experience and the most success rate, and for me, this meant one I could talk to and trust with my body and my baby.

Hypnobirthing: We chose to take hypnobirthing classes because in our quest for our dream birth, I asked Shari Daniels, the head midwife at the Miami Maternity Center and the star of House of Babies on the Discovery Channel, what set apart the easiest, quickest and most successful births from the rest. Without a moment’s pause, “hypnobirthing” was her reply. With a practice spanning over 33 years and having overseen over 11,000 births, my husband and I were very quick to heed her advice. In just three one-hour hypnobirthing lessons, I learned to train my mind to give my body mental anesthesia and to instill in myself the belief that there is no pain in labor and delivery. In doing so, I allowed myself to be a part of my son’s birth while being fully aware in every moment.

At the first lesson, I learned how to ease any pain and how to place myself under self-hypnosis. At the second lesson, I learned how to give myself mental anesthesia and how to place myself under self-hypnosis with my eyes wide open. And, at the third lesson, I learned how to practice and apply self-hypnosis during labor and delivery. By the last trimester of my pregnancy, I was practicing 10 minutes of self-hypnosis everyday to prepare my mind and body for childbirth.

As a first time mother, the fear of childbirth pain was significant and it was difficult to imagine self-hypnosis would be so effective. And yet, it was. The pain I felt at the birth of my son was like stifling a cough. That was it.

THE BIRTH OF OUR SON

A day before my due date, our son arrived.

At midnight, my contractions started. By 3am, I felt they were pretty regular. I wanted to call the midwife but my husband timed them again himself and suggested we wait until they get really regular. I thought, “What? I have to try and go to sleep again while having contractions 5 minutes apart?” By 6am, my husband was finally convinced of the regularity of my contractions and called our midwife. At 7am, the mid-wife’s assistant arrived. I was on all fours trying to do Cat’s pose and I told her my body felt like pushing. As she and my husband got the bath ready for me, she said kindly, “Just let your body do what it wants to do.” So, I did. Well, to me, it felt like doing Kung Fu kicks, along with the “Ha-Ya!”. Unfortunately, it also came with a bowel movement while in the bath. I couldn’t help thinking “OMG! My son is going to come out in poop water?” Then,“OMG! She’s fishing it out with a fishing net.” Pause. “Thank goodness hubby is changing the bath water.”

By 9am, our baby was already crowning and the head mid-wife had just arrived. I don’t think she thought my delivery would be so quick. Less than 30 minutes after Tavish washed her hands, amidst all my Kung Fu kicks and “Ha-Ya!”, our son came out calm and still asleep. After doing a quick check, he was laid in my arms. He opened his eyes for a moment to seemingly look at me, and fell back to sleep.

The minute I looked at my son, I was aghast: “Are you sure that’s my baby?” Looking around my bathroom, I was reminded of being at home and there wasn’t another mother-to-be in the room. “But THAT’s an Asian Baby! What happened to his Greek, Scandinavian and English side?” But then I looked at my husband and for the first time since I met him, I saw tears slowly trickling down his silently happy face. He held me and baby tightly in his arms and I knew I was HOME. Baby was HOME. I looked at my husband, then at my baby and whispered, “Welcome Sweet Heart”.

THE AFTERMATH

We often hear about labor and delivery as extremely painful, invasive, stressful and tiring for both mother and baby. My husband and I wanted nothing of this typical birth experience and we set forth to accomplish our dream birth. Our homebirth was a success: natural, quick, easy, peaceful, calm, non-invasive, empowering and unbelievably painless.

My husband, my baby and I spent the first 24 hours holding each other and gazing at each other. Our bathtub will never be just a bathtub. Our house is much more than just a home. And my small family will always have a beautiful memory to cherish forever.

SOME HELPFUL RESOURCES:

Gentle Birth Choices

Homebirth and Out-of-Hospital Birth: Is It Safe?

Homebirth: As Safe As Birth Gets

Homebirth Safety Statistics

Is Homebirth For You?

Miami Maternity Center

Suzanne Arms Videos

The Business of Being Born – Ricki Lake’s film

Why Homebirth?

4 Things To Learn From A Tiger Mother

2011-03-22T13:59:00.007-04:00


Having had to change violin sizes, my son chose a GOLD one.

I enjoyed reading Amy Chua's memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and learn about her inner and outer struggles in parenting her children. After keeping up with the controversies surrounding her book, I was glad to actually read it first hand. The book was all at once funny, refreshing, shocking, provocative, arrogant, self-effacing and really entertaining. A lot of people have been upset at her harsh parenting methods, but I don't know if they actually read her book because if they had, they would realize that Amy Chua is mocking herself and questioning herself throughout. And yet, despite all the negative press, her book has been flying off the shelves.

I believe that I can learn from anyone even if I don’t agree with them, particularly if they share their successes and failures in achieving something. Amy Chua does just that in her book as she recounts how she helped her children become great musicians:

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT: Both of Chua’s children were not allowed a day off piano or violin practice and these lasted at least 3 hours a day.

In Daniel Levitin's book This is Your Brain on Music: Understanding A Human Obsession, he writes about this 3 hour/day discipline: "…experts… require lengthy periods of instruction and practice in order to acquire the skills necessary to truly excel. In several studies, the very best conservatory students were found to have practiced the most, sometimes twice as much as those who weren't judged as good... ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery associated with being a world-class expert - in anything… Ten thousand hours is equivalent to roughly three hours a day, or twenty hours a week, of practice over ten years... no one has yet found a case in which true world-class expertise was accomplished in less time...”

PARENTS NEED TO BE PROACTIVE: Amy Chua suggests that unlike dogs, children are not merely pets. You can't just let them BE.

“With dogs, you don't have to do anything like this… My dogs can't do anything - and what a relief. I don't make any demands on them, and I don't try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves. I always look forward to seeing them, and I love just watching them sleep. What a great relationship.”

CHILDREN’S HAPPINESS IS RELATIVE: Amy Chua concludes that

“When I look around at all the Western families that fall apart - all the grown sons and daughters who can't stand to be around their parents or don't even talk to them - I have a hard time believing that Western parenting does a better job with happiness… By contrast, I can't tell you how many Asian kids I've met who, while acknowledging how oppressively strict and brutally demanding their parents were, happily describe themselves as devoted to their parents and unbelievably grateful to them, seemingly without a trace of bitterness or resentment.

I'm really not sure why this is… But here's one thing I'm sure of: Western children are definitely no happier than Chinese ones.”

ALLOW CHILDREN THEIR CHOICE FOR A BETTER PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP: Amy Chua decides this is the one thing she didn’t give her children and wishes she had. Once she let her rebellious child decide what she wanted to do, Lulu showed that she had the basis (after years of violin training) to excel at tennis.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reminded me all at once of own family. I come from a family of national athletes, academic achievers, published authors, award winners, shrewd businessmen and women. I may well be ‘the least accomplished’ of them all, happy being a stay-at-home wife and mother. And yet, as I homeschool my 4 year old son, I am astounded by his innate type 'A' personality and high achieving qualities. Maybe it's in the genes. Whatever the reason, I may well need to be a little bit of a Tiger Mother to help him on his way.

The Silent Signs of Love

2011-03-16T18:22:00.001-04:00

My father lives on the other side of the earth and his visits are short and far between. When it was time to say goodbye, my son pointed at his 'Papou', then he pointed at himself, and then drew a big heart in the air.

My heart melted at this silent yet powerful sign of love.

The Future of Education

2010-10-26T13:00:00.001-04:00

As I read this month's The Futurist magazine, I quickly turn to look at their Outlook on Education for 2011. Her are several points from the articles that they site:

the notion of class time as separate from non-class time will vanish.

Janna Anderson says in Remaking Education for a New Century: "We need to move away from the format of school time and non-school time, which is no longer necessary."

self-directed learning will be the most important skill

She continues "More importantly, we need to teach kids to value self-directed learning, teach them how to learn on their own terms, and how to create an individual time schedule. "

internet education AND social networking will be important learning tools

"We need to combine face time with learning online. And we can’t be afraid to use the popular platforms like text-messaging and social networks. As those tools become more immersive, students will feel empowered and motivated to learn on their own — more so than when they were stuck behind a desk."

classes won't matter

"We need to remove the old books that no one has opened in twenty years and put them in nearby storage. What we do need are places were people can gather — places that foster an atmosphere of intellectual expansion, where learners can pursue deeper meaning or consult specialists with access to deep knowledge resources. It’s all about people accessing networked knowledge, online, in person, and in databases."

non-digital tools will become important parts of curricula again

Mark Bauerlein says in Literary Learning in the Hyperdigital Age:

"In 2020, schools will indeed sport fabulous gadgets, devices, and interfaces of learning, but each school will also have one contrary space, a small preserve that has no devices or access, no connectivity at all. There, students will study basic subjects without screens or keyboards present — only pencils, books, old newspapers and magazines, blackboards and slide rules."

"That’s because over the next 10 years, educators will recognize that certain aspects of intelligence are best developed with a mixture of digital and nondigital tools."

"Writing by hand, students will give more thought to the craft of composition. They will pause over a verb, review a transition, check sentence lengths, and say, “I can do better than that.”

"Disconnectivity, then, serves a crucial educational purpose, forcing students to recognize the technology everywhere around them and to see it from a critical distance."

schools will see the benefit in teaching basic subjects like interpersonal skills, self-discipline and responsibility

In Innovation and Creativity in a Complex World

Gary Marx, president of the Center for Public Outreach says:

"Schools have always taught math, reading, and writing, but curricula needs to broaden to include new subjects: interpersonal skills, information accessing, media literacy, self-discipline, responsibility, and use of computers and other technologies."

"He also encouraged teachers to move toward more "active learning," such as group exercises, class discussions, and other exercises that allow the students to interact with the course material."

Another interesting point to note is that:

the future will have too many PhDs

The Importance of Homeschooling on Public Education

2010-10-26T12:46:00.001-04:00

"We have just begun to see the emergence of homeschooling

as an important national phenomenon.

Unless the needs of parents are met in different ways,

it is likely that homeschooling will have a large impact

on the school as an institution in coming decades."

- Kurt J. Bauman -

Kurt J. Bauman's paper entitled Homeschooling in the United States: Trends and Characterics written in August 2001 for the US Census Bureau takes an in-depth look at homeschooling. In conclusion, he says homeschooling is the most important and least mentioned choice in the educational system today.

Why?

Because:

1. There are more students who homeschool than attend charter schools.

2. There are more who homeschool than those in the voucher school programs.

3. The number of homeschoolers is growing everyday as the reputation of homeschoolers improves and as the dissatisfaction with public schooling escalates.. According to the National Center for Education Statistics in December 2008, 1.5 Million children were educated at home in 2007 in the USA - an increase from 1.1 Million in 1997. In South Carolina alone, according to the most recent data collected by State Education Agencies, between 1990 and 1998, the number of homeschooled children increased seven-times.

4. The successes of homeschooling "forces numerous adjustments to current curricular practices".

9 years after Mr. Bauman's paper, homeschooling has become a viable option for parents who want quality education for their children. Numbers of homeschooled children have steadily increased since 2001. And yet, it is still the least mentioned choice in the education system today.

Learning to Write and Spell

2010-10-15T01:56:00.003-04:00

We have loved the Tools of the Mind method in teaching our son language because it is through PLAY that he has discovered his love for putting his thoughts down on paper. Recently, after listening to Beethoven Lives Upstairs, our son wanted to BE Beethoven writing a symphony. After scribbling his 'music notes' in his notebook, he asked for help in spelling Symphony and Beethoven.

It is amazing how focused a preschooler can be at play AND when they are developing a skill that they love and enjoy.

Quiet Time

2010-10-15T01:32:00.002-04:00

We recently created Quiet Time at our house. Although there is still a lot of resistance from our son (NOOOOOOO! I don't want quiet time. I already had quiet time. Is it over yet?), it is during these periods of time alone that our son becomes absolutely creative. Although establishing a routine is the hardest part - the results make the training all worthwhile. Mama and Daddy have time for 'work' or me time and son learns how to be more self-sufficient. We all win. Wish we did it earlier!

I helped make the Star Wars puppets,

but he played by himself for an hour totally immersed in his own dialogue between characters.

We were studying The Scream by Edvard Munch and

he made different faces with playdough for a good hour.

And this was created on the first day we instilled Quiet Time.

Although adamant he didn't need it, he came up with a brilliant idea,

raced upstairs and when we found him an hour later,

he had created his own Star Wars costumed puppets.

Resources:

The Importance of Quiet Time

How To Establish Quiet Time for Kids Who No Longer Nap

Summary of Open Forum on Education Choices in South Carolina

2010-10-15T00:13:00.001-04:00

Click here.

It's On! An Open Forum on Education Choices in South Carolina!!!

2010-09-30T21:51:00.001-04:00

The meeting on Education Choices in South Carolina will be held

on 7th October 2010

at 6pm-7pm

in the Richland County Council Chambers

@ 2020 Hampton Street, Columbia, SC

Taylor Hall, SC GOP Director of Field Operations will be attending our meeting. The Democrats have sent their regrets and will not attend but will supply answers to our questions.

Children are welcome to come - it is about their education after all. More questions (please post here under question 3) are also welcome!

Please pass this on to your friends and family who are interested in the future of South Carolina.

What's in our Medicine Cabinet? Essential Oils!

2010-09-21T01:57:00.008-04:00

Did you know that essential oils are:

- so potent, you only need a couple of drops

- 70 x more effective than dried? 1 drop of peppermint oil is equivalent to the potency of 28 cups of peppermint tea!

- in their most usable form: 30 seconds after applying them to the bottom of your feet, they are already in your bloodstream doing their 'work'?

I never liked smelling essential oils for the immediate headache I would get. I've since learned that most oils are SYNTHETIC and not all natural (this includes oils that are therapeutic grade!). So, healing with essential oils never attracted me - until my NAET dōTERRA products. Now they ARE my medicine cabinet (along with food of course!) because of their profound benefits to our health and well being. dōTERRA essential oils are the highest grade of essential oils available today. In fact, they have created a new standard of Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils. doctor introduced me to

As the company explains:

"dōTERRA (CPTG) Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade^® essential oils represent the safest, purest, and most beneficial essential oils available today. They are gently and skillfully distilled from plants that have been patiently harvested at the perfect moment by experienced growers from around the world for ideal extract composition and efficacy. Experienced essential oil users will immediately recognize dōTERRA's superior quality standard for naturally safe, purely effective therapeutic-grade essential oils."

doTERRA essential oils can be diffused aromatically into the air, applied topically on the skin, or taken internally as dietary supplements. We have the Family Physician Single Kit Aroma-Touch kit in our medicine cabinet and we use them mostly as topical 'medicine'. and the

The 3 most used essential oils for us, a family with a rambunctious little boy, are Lavender, Melaleuca and Peppermint. Although we use Lavender a lot for relaxation during the night (and sleeping through it), Malaleuca for disinfecting and Peppermint for breathing, they are mostly used for when we get insect bites, wounds and mixed into our Jojoba Oil which we use as our moisturizer. We use Lemon for dry skin, I use Frankincense with my facial moisturizer (for wrinkles!), we use Breath-Ease when there is a cough or cold and we drop On Guard in our soap dispensers filled with Dr. Bronner's soap. Just this week, we used Deep Blue on my husband's aching back and the usual week's worth of pain was gone in 2 days. The Aroma-Touch kit can be used with special techniques to rid pains and discomfort.

We love dōTERRA products. They are high-grade, natural, SAFE, non-toxic for everyone in the family and, very simply and most importantly, they WORK!!! These essential oils are a MUST everyday resource for a family who wants to take control over their overall health.

The Dreaded ‘D’ Word in Any Marriage: DIVORCE

2010-08-30T15:12:00.003-04:00

Do you ever think about divorce? According to divorcestatistics.org, the divorce rate in

America

for first marriages is 41%, 60% for second and 73% for third marriages. The divorce rate for couples with children is 40%, while those without children 66%. Generally speaking, it is said that 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

Do happily married people ever think about divorce? I don’t know, but I do. I want to remain happily married. Just looking at my extended family alone, the odds in favor of divorce is very high: my grandmother is divorced, my aunts and uncles, my mother-in-law, her sister, my father-in-law twice… So, I do think of divorce and the fragility of marriage:

how easy it is to break the bond;
what, how and why things go wrong; and
the hard work it requires to keep a happy marriage.

For couples with children who divorce, not only does divorce mean dissolving a marriage, but also a family. Admittedly, my husband and I agree that children don’t bring a couple together – but can pull them apart. There is less time together as husband and wife, for ‘me’ time and sleep. There is more time devoted to being ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ and bringing up baby. It is so easy for the ‘family’ to take over the ‘marriage’.

So, in the past year, I decided to really think about my relationship with my husband and our family unit. How can I help my marriage and my family pursue long-term happiness?

This is the equation I came up with:

Love, Health, Mind and Spirit, and Resources

Time for myself, my husband, my child and my community

HAPPY MARRIAGE

HAPPY FAMILY

I pinpointed four issues important in creating a strong happy family: Love, Health, Mind and Spirit, and Resources.

LOVE is most important because love binds the marriage and the family together and sets the tone for our everyday existence. The goal is to experience each other’s company, be sensitive, responsive, trust, respect, honor and love each other, and to prioritize bonding time together.

HEALTH is next because we could not physically live and enjoy being together without it. The goal is to focus on the family’s nutritive diet, proper exercise, quality sleep and daily outdoor time in nature.

MIND AND SPIRIT directs our lives together. The goal is to focus on growing together – not apart: play and learn together, teach and challenge each other, communicate openly and share information with each other.

RESOURCES allow us to create more of what we already have and enjoy. Resources could mean money, but also work, knowledge, networks, and relationships. Everyone contributes, however big or small, to the resources of the family.

TIME is an important resource and I need to set aside constructive time daily for:

MYSELF, for without making time for myself, I cannot be happy.

MY SPOUSE, for without OUR happiness, our marriage cannot be happy.

MY CHILD, for without love and attention, our family cannot be happy.

OUR COMMUNITY, for the family needs to be part of the community.

I have my plan and I will follow it. If there are any bumps on the road, and I suspect there always are, I can ask: what failed us in the past, what are we doing now and how can we do it better. Then, I can modify my plan accordingly. I love being married. I love being a wife and mother. I love my family. I hate to think that passive complacency could cause any harm to what I have worked so hard to have. I will work to keep far away fom that dreaded ‘D’ word.

Why Attachment Parenting is increasingly important today.

2010-08-25T18:06:00.004-04:00

Psychology Today's article entitled "The Decline of Children and the Moral Sense: Problems that used to be rare are becoming mainstream" describes why Attachment Parenting is important: positive outcomes for babies who

• "nursed frequently;

• held, touched, or kept near others almost constantly;

• frequently cared for by individuals [adults] other than their mothers (fathers and grandmothers, in particular) though seldom by older siblings;

• experience prompt responses to their fusses and cries;

• and enjoy multiage [free] play groups in early childhood.

• along with natural childbirth

• and 2-5 years of breastfeeding...

...others are documenting the effects of these practices on child outcomes and finding relations to intelligence, cooperation, conscience, empathy, self-control, aggression and depression."

Star Wars Exhibit

2010-08-13T16:58:00.000-04:00

I planned on non-violence in our home... but I guess I wasn't savvy to boys and how they play. Well, Star Wars is a BIG thing in our house. We wake up to "Let's Play Star Wars!!!" We play and study Star Wars ALL DAY and include math and language games in our play. Our green smoothies become Gungin or Yoda juice. Our son has even incorporated Star Wars characters into his bedtime. So - yes, it's unbelieveably Star Wars 24-7!

We've just recently watched all the movies too, except Episode III (which seemed a little more violent than the others). So it seemed appropriate to visit The US Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama for the traveling Star Wars exhibit. It is the first time the exhibit has been in the South East USA and it will end in about 3 weeks. There are more than 80 costumes, models and props from all six Star Wars films. It is a small exhibit and I wish they had more educational material available at the shop. Needless to say, our son was thrilled to be there. I guess that was the reason for us going in the first place!

Rocks

2010-08-13T16:23:00.001-04:00

There is a small quaint once-jail-now-museum called Franklin Gem and Mineral Museum in Franklin, North Carolina chock full of different rocks and crystals, as well as educational materials. It is run by volunteers and makes a wonderful visit if you are ever in the area. Outdoors is a small sand area where kids (or adults) can dig for their own rocks as well. We also stopped at Jackson Hole Gem Mine to find some raw gems, but we had much more fun at the Franklin Gem Museum, which was free(!).

Different rocks and crystals under UV light at the Franklin Gem Museum.

Mining for treasures under water

Sifting

Our Finds

Amethyst, aventurine, citrine, quartz, moon stone, garnet, topaz

Action Alert: Education and the SC Race for Governor

2010-07-31T15:09:00.002-04:00

Education and the SC Race for Governor from Natural Awakenings

“Before we vote for a governor, we need to know what each is committing to in order to change our education system,” says Lexington mom and homeschool teacher Carissa Leventis- Cox. That led Carissa to get the support of Gifted Homeschoolers Forum and other education-focused associations in South Carolina to create the opportunity for a debate on education choices in our state between the two gubernatorial candidates. “They both think the existing system needs changes,” adds Leventis-Cox. “Candidate Nikki Haley said the existing system is ‘hurting our kids’ and candidate Vincent Sheheen says continuing what we’ve been doing would be ‘insane.’ Why not take time to find out exactly how they are going to do this?”

Leventis-Cox, founder of the local chapter of Mothers Acting Up, has lived on three continents, and worked in New York City and Miami, but chose to raise a family in Lexington. “My husband and I wanted our children to grow up in a stimulating environment near to family.” Now that she has her first child, the importance of a first-rate education system hit home. “I’ve been educated in Asia, the UK and the US. My husband has three master’s degrees. We think education is very important, and the globalization of the workforce is only increasing its significance.”

Candidates have been invited to a debate on Oct. 7 in Columbia. To ensure a meaningful and well-attended debate, visit GubernatorialEduDebate.blogspot.com and register your support.

Alternative Education Choices in SC

2010-07-31T10:15:00.006-04:00

I was recently interviewed for an article on Alternative Education Choices in SC for Natural Awakenings magazine. (It may not open right away - try a second time and it will open. If not, go to the digital copy and look for page 19-20.) Here is part of the article:

THE HOMESCHOOLING WAVE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

Carissa Leventis-Cox is a stay-at-home mom, natural foods cook and homeschool teacher to her young son. She is also a representative of the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum in South Carolina and the leader of the Columbia Holistic Moms Network that meets in the health food store community area in Lexington.

“If you are listening to your child, challenging him on concepts, you are homeschooling,” says Carissa. “The options for homeschooling are many, and the resources are tremendous in South Carolina. In a public school class with 20 Columbia Edition 20 students, can a teacher give full attention and stimulate learning equal to one-on-one attention from a parent?”

Carissa explained away all of the myths that people have about homeschooling, such as homeschoolers aren’t socialized with other children, and that they miss out on band, music groups or organized sports. “Homeschool children join with others frequently and work with children from diverse backgrounds and different ages,” adds Carissa. “It’s actually better.”

Homeschool groups benefit from a diversity of parents as well, with backgrounds that become valuable teaching resources, such as naturalists, language teachers, music and art instructors and experts in various professional fields who combine their talents as teachers for their community homeschool groups.

Community sports venues offer team sports, although public schools don’t allow homeschoolers to be on school teams. “Near me in Irmo, there is a music center that homeschoolers can use before 3 pm, after which the public school students begin arriving,” says Carissa. “We even have prom and graduation venues for homeschoolers.”

What if parents work? How can they offer their own children homeschool benefits? “If parents work, they can still homeschool, but it takes more careful scheduling. It takes time, dedication and love, and with that, a knowledge level or ability to find resources.” Carissa finds the public library to be a key resource. “My son gets 60 books per week. The librarians help with research and even send books.” For parents considering homeschool options, there are a multitude of state and national resources and support systems to research and community support systems to explore.

Education Choices in South Carolina - A Gubernatorial Debate - PLEASE SUPPORT

2010-06-29T14:54:00.003-04:00

GHF is organizing a Gubernatorial Debate on Education Choices in SC on the 7th of October 2010 in Columbia. Nikki Haley and Vincent Sheheen have been invited but we need to make it meaningful for them to participate. Please support the event by showing you are able to attend and post questions you want answered by the candidates about our children's future education in SC. This event will provide a forum for the candidates to hear and answer questions personally from families who want and need education choices in order to educate their children in SC.

Click Here for event information.

Avoiding Toxins to Lessen Your Family's Risk Exposure

2010-06-23T00:36:00.002-04:00

We try to build a safe home - but a lot of times, exposure to toxins is not in our control. They are everywhere and they affect everyone. Did you know that of the 80,000 chemicals used in America today, only 200 have been tested? As consumers, we need to educate ourselves about what we buy, what we place in our households, what we unknowingly expose our families to.

Here is a summary of the top FIVE toxins that are ubiquitous:

BPA is in a lot of baby products, electronic equipment, food storage containers, dental sealants. 93% of people tested have BPA in their system. It affects male sexual function.
Phthalates are found in shampoos, soaps, nail polish, perfume, food packaging. Everyone is affected. It causes ADHD and also disrupts male reproductive development.
PFOA -- Perfluorooctanoic acid (also called C8) is found in non-stick cookware and stain- and water-repellent items (clothes, furniture, carpet). Everyone is affected. It causes cancer and developmental problems.
Formaldehyde is used in pressed wood, glues and durable fabrics. It causes cancers of the respiratory or gastrointestinal tract.
PBDEs - Polybrominated diphenyl ethers is a flame retardant. These are found in televisions, computers and wire insulation, and furniture foam. PDBEs may damage the liver and kidneys and affect the brain and behavior.

What is so shocking is that it only takes ONE carcinogen to cause our cells to mutate, thus causing disease. How do we avoid more risk? According to Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN, we can lessen our exposure to toxic chemicals by following a few easy steps:

1. TAKE SHOES OFF BEFORE ENTERING OUR HOME: leave potential chemicals out

2. In The Kitchen:

DRINK CLEAN WATER - use carbon filter or reverse osmosis
BUY MEAT and DAIRY without the use of antibiotics and hormones
BUY ORGANIC PRODUCE when we can or wash and peel
GET RID OF NON-STICK COOK WARE AND TUPPERWARE - use cast iron, stainless steel, glass, if your plastics have a #7 on the bottom, assume they contain BPA unless stated otherwise

3. GET RID OF DUST - indoor air is 3 x more polluted than outdoor air through off-gases of furniture, drapes, carpets, etc... so OPEN WINDOWS AND AIR OUT THE HOUSE

4. KEEP HOUSE PLANTS

What else we can do? Besides avoiding products with toxins? Well, my long-lost cousin told me about Mothers Acting Up and I started the local chapter in my community and our first project was to take action in favor of the Safe Chemicals Act.

Star Wars 'Curriculum'

2010-06-01T21:19:00.002-04:00

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation."
Plato

Our 3 1/2 year old loves Star Wars. He could narrate the whole story of The New Hope, look at Star Wars Encyclopedias, books and role play Luke, Anakin, Han, and all the other characters all day long. We think he is pretty young for the film, so we decided to create a Star Wars curriculum for him.

1. We bought a few and borrow lots of Star Wars books. Someone even suggested the Wookie Cookbook!

2. I relented and bought a lightsaber. Some parents don't buy guns or swords for their kids, but a stick becomes a weapon anyway. I bought the lightsaber as part of his 'costume'. He play fights with full gusto as he narrates the stories. It's amazing how 'into' it a young child is when in pretend play. I was glad to read Play. Yes, You Must by Stuart Brown, the founder and president of The National Institute for Play, because he agrees with play fighting. He:

"studied a group of young murderers many years ago in Texas... Among many findings was the observation that none of these murderers had engaged in normal rough and tumble play when growing up, as compared to a large matched group also under study. Since then, the human clinical data on the importance of rough and tumble play in the development of social competency has been affirmed."

3. I found this fun kindergarten curriculum based on Star Wars. I cannot believe this teacher got away with it, but she did! Even better that it was on the web for me... So, like she did, we decorated our son's desk with a Star Wars table cloth, a colouring book, some glow sticks, stickers, cups and plates.

4. We match words - for sight recognition.

5. Someone recommended having our son write words related to his favourite topic. He loves it!

6. We have some Star Wars figures which are also used in narration.

7. We bought the Land Speeder Lego set, but our son doesn't like it because it doesn't look realistic enough. Oh well... at least he put some of the Lego characters together.

8. A big bonus or a nightmare - depending on your day - is that we get to play along with him and enter Pretend Land.

P.S. A month later and Star Wars is still an obsession. We have now introduced the Trilogy, 30 minutes at a time... and FYI we use subtitles so he can 'read' at the same time.

Spanish Curriculum

2010-05-28T16:13:00.000-04:00

Our 3 1/2 year old loves Senora Cano and her hand puppets. He asks to watch the Spanish videos and do the Spanish exercises. I didn't think he would like them as they are black and white exercises, but he even asked to do the Unit Exam! And got 17 out of 20 correct. That's GREAT, considering I don't do anything besides show the 20 minute lesson video and do an exercise a week. We have been using the University of Northern Arizona's Elementary Spanish Curriculum for 6 months with great success. The video introduces new vocabulary in different ways and reviews what has been learned in the past also in different ways, including games and songs. I hardly reinforce vocabulary outside doing the exercises and our son is learning. I had my doubts, but when I found a mother who had such zeal for the program on The Well Trained Mind Forum, I took my chances. I am glad I did!

Recycling isn't so Easy!

2010-05-18T13:55:00.003-04:00

Our Recycled Robots

We went on a field trip to our recycling plant Sonoco Recycling and it was enlightening!

What our son took home: "I want to make a Tin Man!" (There was one at the Recycling Education Room.)

What I took home: "I've been doing almost EVERYTHING WRONG!"

Did you know where we live....

#s on the bottom don't mean a thing? They recycle plastics as long as they have screw tops and resemble water bottles or milk jugs. No to salad containers. No to yoghurt containers. No to any other shapes.
we cannot put office or school paper in our recycling bin? only newspapers and cardboard boxes without wax. (Note office paper can be recycled at area drop-off centers.)
we cannot put any type of glass in our recycling bin? (Note glass bottles, jugs and jars can be recycled at area drop-off sites.)
they don't recycle any plastic bags?
we shouldn't separate stuff by material in plastic bags because they just get thrown away and go back into the landfill?
what can and cannot be recycled changes all the time -- we need to be kept up to date -- or else we are all just wasting time and money!? A good place to stay up-to-date is on www.keepthemidlandsbeautiful.org Click on "Recycling" and your area of town.

Hmmm... I need to be more vigilant in what I buy so we can recycle, reuse and reduce more effectively!

Resources:

Earth 911 - find recycling centers and learn how to recycle

Environment Green

The Internet Consumer Recycling Guide

Recycling in the Midlands

Recycling Facts

Recycling Statistics

A Fairy Tale = Violent Story Not To Be Told or an Important Story with a Lesson

2010-05-10T14:49:00.001-04:00

We were studying Erte's Starstruck when our son decided to make his own version:

Daddy's Heart Struck.

I never knew how protective I would be of my own son until he was born. As a mother, I want to protect him from danger, from wrongdoing, from aggression and violence... and be able to hug him and keep him safe in my arms always. But I've changed my mind now. I think he would be better prepared for the world if I didn't shield him so intensely from the things some say will make him more aggressive and violent.

Why did I change my mind? My mother.

My mother was here for a visit not long ago and it was a great visit - except for the part when we argued about what kind of story was appropriate for my son to listen to. One day during her visit, I had overheard my mother telling my son whose eyes got bigger and bigger as the story went on:

"The queen asked the mirror... Mirror mirror on the wall... Snow White. And the queen was so upset because she wasn't the most beautiful in the land... So, she hired a huntsman with an AXE and ordered him to KILL and CHOP UP Snow White in the forest..."

At this point, I forced myself in their conversation and shouted "That is WAY TO VIOLENT! Do you mind changing the facts just a little bit????"

To this, my mother said "Why? That's the story, why should I change it? Besides it's not any more violent than those Greek Myths!"

Needless to say, the argument/discussion on fairy tales lasted for at least 2 days. And when she found out our 3 year old son didn't know other 'violent' fairy tales, she would continue to tell them as elaborately as I had wished she hadn't. As for my son, he was just as enthralled with those gory details.

I recently have re-read Jim Trelease's The Read Aloud Handbook and there is a section on What is the Purpose of Fairy Tales? As I read it, I realized my mother was probably right after all. Fairy Tales have lasted for so long for a reason. Still, I would have wanted my mother to elaborate less on the killing methods and some other violent sections of the story. Stories still need to be told according to age appropriateness.

In any case, here's what Mr. Trelease says:

"Stop for a minute and remind yourself how long the fairy tale has been with us... What distinguishes the fairy tale is that it speaks to the very heart and soul of the child. It admits to the child what so many parents and teachers spend hours trying to cover up or avoid. The fairy tale confirms what the child has been thinking all along - that it is a cold, cruel world out there and it's waiting to eat him alive... it goes one step further. It addresses itself to the child's sense of courage and adventure. The tale advises the child: Take your courage in hand and go out to meet the world head on. According to Bruno Bettelheim, the fairy tale offers this promise: If you have courage and if you persist, you can overcome any obstacle, conquer any foe. By recognising a child's daily fears, appealing to his courage and confidence, and by offering hope, the fairy tale presents the child with a means by which he can understand the world and himself."

Children: The Challenge

2010-04-26T16:20:00.002-04:00

"I have no right to punish a person with status equal to mine,

but I do have the obligation to guide and direct my child.

I do not have the right to impose my will -

but I do have the obligation not to give in to his undue demands."

- Rudolf Dreikurs -

This book of all the parenting books I have read has really helped our family with our own parenting style. Written in 1964 and yet it is as if it were written for parents today. What I love about Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs' principles of child-raising is that they respect the child and the parents. When our son turned 2 1/2 years old, the terrible 2s were not only terrible but terrifyingly terrible - to me anyway. I had no idea how to deal with this "spoiled brat" who was "in a constant fury because life [was] not amenable to his wishes." I read book after book. Tried one thing after the other and nothing seemed to work until I read this book. Only 2 days of following the principles of Children: The Challenge and our son suddenly changed his terrible 2 ways and we all were and are much happier because of it.

Here are what I consider the most important excerpts from the book. As I type it out, I am really re-learning the principles, which I am grateful for. And I wanted to add that my cousin who is a Montessori teacher works in a school which based their principles on this book - and they were voted one of the best schools in the Bay Area, CA!

Chapters:

1. Our Present Dilemma

Adults are usually deeply disturbed at the notion that children are their social equals... Equality means that people, despite all their individual differences and abilities, have equal claims to dignity and respect. Our conviction that we are superior to our children stems from our cultural heritage: that people are inferior or superior according to their birth, their money, their sex or color, or their age and wisdom. No individual ability or trait can guarantee superiority or the right to dominate... In fact, our children are often much more capable than we are and tend to outsmart us on many occasions...

The popular practice of letting children have unrestricted freedom has made tyrants of children and slaves of the parents. These children enjoy all the freedom while their parents assume all the responsibilities!... Well-defined restrictions give a sense of security and a certainty of function within the social structure... Freedom implies order. Without order, there can be no freedom...

To help our children, then, we must turn from the obsolete autocratic method of demanding submission to a new order based on the principles of freedom and responsibility. Our children no longer can be forced into compliance; they must be stimulated and encouraged into voluntarily taking their part in the maintenance of order.

2. Understanding the Child

A child will try something: if it works and if it fits in with his goal, he retains it as a method of finding his personal identity.

3. Encouragement

Encouragement is more important than any other aspect of child-raising. It is so important that the lack of it can be considered the basic cause for misbehavior. A misbehaving child is a discouraged child...

The child's behavior gives the clue to his self-estimate. The child who doubts his own ability and his own value will demonstrate it through his deficiencies. He no longer seeks to belong through usefulness, participation, and contributions.. In his discouragement he turns to useles and provocative behavior... To be spanked is better than to be ignored...

Genuine happiness is not dependent upon the attention of other but arises from within oneself as a result of self-sufficiency... Children have immense native courage and eagerly try to do the things they see others doing...

... mother discourages by extreme overprotection... Children need to learn how to take pain in their stride. A bruised knee will mend: bruised courage may last a lifetime... [What mother can do:] When she grants him the right to do wrong she places upon him the responsibility for his behavior and indicates that he has to bear the consequences. When she suggests that they will come again when he is ready, she expresses her faith that he will reconsider and will feel better and will want to play...

Parental love is best demonstrated through constant encouragement toward independence.

4. The Child's Mistaken Goals

The desire for undue attention is the first mistaken goal used by discouraged children as a means for feeling that they belong. Influenced by his mistaken assumption that he has significance only when he is the center of attention, the child develops great skill at attention-getting mechanisms. He finds all manner of ways to keep others busy with him. He may be charming and witty, delightful and coy. But as pleasant as he may be, his goal is to win attention rather than to participate...

When we realize that a child is demanding undue attention, we can avoid yielding to his demands. What is the point of demanding attention of a mother who disappears? When we find ourselves involved in a power contest, we can withdraw from the field of battle and not allow ourselves to become engaged in the contest.

5. The Fallacy of Punishment and Reward

Punishment, or the authoritative idea - "obey me, or else," needs to be replaced by a sense of mutual respect and co-operation. Even though children are no longer in an inferior position, they are untrained and inexperienced. They need our leadership. A good leader inspires and stimulates... We can create an atmosphere of mutual self-respect and consideration and provide an opportunity for the child to learn how to live comfortably and happily with others. We need to arrange learning situations without showing a lack of respect for the child or for ourselves...

Good behavior on the part of the child springs from his desire to belong, to contribute usefully, and to co-operate... A reward does not give a child a sense of belonging.

6. The Use of Natural and Logical Consequences

We do not have the right to assume the responsibilities of our children, nor do we have the right to take the consequences of their acts. These belong to them...

When we use the term "logical consequences", parents so frequently misinterpret it as a new way to impose their demands upon children. The children see this for what it is - disguised punishment. The secret lies in the manner of application. It comprises a judicial withdrawal on the part of the parent that allows room for the logical sequence of events to take place...

3 year old Kathy refused to stay out of the street when she played in the yard... Mother picks her up quietly and firmly carries her into the house. "Since you do not feel like playing in the yard (indicates Kathy's right to her own feelings), you may not be out. When you are ready, you may try again."...To prevent this [problem] from becoming a power contest, after the 3rd successive time, Mother may keep Kathy in for a few days. It is most important to constantly give children a chance to try again. It allows them to feel that they still have a chance, and indicates Mother's faith in the child and his ability to learn...

Many of the things children do which annoy us are done for that very purpose, and to keep us busy with them... The less a parent talks about "consequences," the less it will appear as punishment.

7. Be Firm Without Dominating

It is difficult at times to understand the difference between firmness and domination. Children need firmness... Domination means that we try to impose our will upon the child. We tell him what he should do... Firmness, on the other hand, expresses our own action. Mother can always decide what she will do and carry it out... Firmness without domination requires practice in mutual respect. We must respect the child's right to decide what he intends to do. Respect for ourselves is gained by our refusal to be placed at the mercy of the unruly child... We need to develop sensitivity to recognize the difference between his needs and his whims.

8. Show Respect for the Child

Only when we have confidence in a child and his ability can we show respect from him... Respect for the child means that we regard him as a human with the same rights to make decisions as we have. But similar rights does not mean that the child may do what the adults do. Everyone in the family has a different role to play - and each has the right to be respected in that role.

9. Induce Respect for Order

If [mother] finds things belonging to the girls out of place, she may pick them up and put them away - not for the girls, but for herself, because they are in her way... Since the girls didn't put their belongings away, how can they know where they are? Mother remains firm about this, although friendly. This is not punishment. The logical result of not putting something away is that one doesn't know where it is.

10. Induce Respect for the Rights of Others

In a situation between equals, each one has the same rights. If Ellen has the right to slap or kick or bite, Mother has the same right. Mother is obligated to demonstrate this to Ellen. The secret lies in the manner in which it is done. When Ellen slaps, Mother can say cheerfully, "I see you want to play the slapping game." Then Mother slaps Ellen - and doesn't pull her punch... Mother continues this game until Ellen quits. It has been our experience that few children wish to play this game a second time!

11. Eliminate Criticism and Minimize Mistakes

When we pay constant attention to mistakes, we discourage our children. We cannot build on weakness - only on strength... We are constantly correcting, constantly admonishing. Such an approach shows lack of faith in our children; it is humiliating and discouraging.... Making a mistake is not nearly as important as what we do about it afterward...

If we want a child to overcome a fault, we must discover the purpose behind the behavior, then, without talking about it at all, act in such a way that the purpose is no longer fulfilled. Most of the time this action on our part consists of not acting, of failing to respond, of avoiding our first impulse.

12. Maintain Routine

... social integration and self-sufficiency are the goals of parental guidance.

13. Take Time for Training

Constant corrections fail to "teach" because they are criticism and as such discourage and provoke the child... The discouraged child displays interest in doing things. Alert parents recognize such attempts and encourage them.

It is also wise to provide children with training in and understanding about unpleasant contingencies.

Training should not be attempted when guests are present or the family is out in public... If a parent wishes a child to behave in public, he will have to train him at home. If his behavior is out of keeping with the situation, the only practical solution is to remove him quietly.

14. Win Co-operation

Group pressure is effective, while adult pressure only stimulates rebellion. This method of dealing with a problem usually takes the form of a Family Council.

... if a child is allowed - not requested! - to contribute from the very beginning, he enjoys it and has a sense of pride in his accomplishment.

Our tone of voice and manner of approach are important factors in winning co-operation.

15. Avoid Giving Undue Attention

The child who seeks constant attention is, of necessity, an unhappy child. He feels that unless he gets attention he is worthless, has no place.

Whenever we stop responding to a child's undue demands for attention, we must be sure to notice him when he is co-operative; this will help the child to re-evaluate his methods... Children need our attention. But we must become aware of the difference between due and undue attention... when we feel annoyed or distressed, we can be assured that we are confronted with undue demands.

16. Sidestep the Struggle for Power

Mother does not need to be angry. No power contest is involved if Mother remains cool and calm.

It requires constant self-reminders. "I really can't make my children do anything. I cannot force them to do anything nor stop them. I may try all the tricks in the book, but I cannot force my child into co-operative action. It cannot be forced; it must be won. Proper behavior must be stimulated, not demanded. However, I can utilize my ingenuity, tact, and my sense of humor to promote willingness."

17. Withdraw from the Conflict

The disturbance is the result of a conflict between two people. If one person withdraws the other cannot continue. If the parent removes himself from the battlefield he leaves the child in a vacuum.

18. Action! Not Words

If Mother really wants to change the behavior of her children, she will have to act. Words are futile. Out of respect for the children she cannot decide what they will do. But she can decide what she will do. "I will not sit at the table with you when you have dirty hands." Mother removes the plates and serves no food to people with dirty hands. The second time that Mother finds dirty hands at the table she doesn't even have to say why she does not serve.

19. Don't Shoo Flies

Sometimes it is a matter of taking time to train a child. Connie's mother can stop pushing the stroller whenever the child drags her foot. No words necessary. Connie will soon understand and keep her foot in place if she wants to ride. Mother's quiet insistence will be much more effective as a training method than her continued "No, no"...

20. Use Care in Pleasing: Have the Courage to Say "No"

Feeling obligated to please a child as much as possible is a mistake, because it is a servile attitude that promotes self-centeredness in the child.

21. Avoid the First Impulse: Do the Unexpected

22. Refrain from Overprotection

An overprotective mother plays the high authority who decides when Johnny is warm and when he is cold... Mother provides services that are not necessary... She sees potential danger lurking everywhere.

We cannot protect our children from life. Nor should we want to. We are obligated to train our children in courage and strength to face life... Under the pretext of concern for their welfare, we keep our children helpless and dependent so that we may appear big and powerful and protective... It places us in a superior dominant position and keeps our children submissive.

23. Stimulate Independence

Doing for a child what he can do for himself is extremely discouraging, since it deprives him of the opportunity to experience his own strength. It shows our complete lack of faith in his ability, courage and adequacy, robs him of his sense of security, which is based on the realization of his own capacity to meet and solve problems, and denies him his right to develop self-sufficiency - all in order to keep our own image of our indispensability.

Wendy has no chance to develop independence as long as Mother is impatient, in a hurry, and takes the easy way out.

Without realizing what goes on, we so frequently allow ourselves to continue to help our children long after it is necessary because we are so used to doing so.

24. Stay Out of Fights! We only have 1 child - so I skimmed this chapter. Basically, let the children handle fights on their own. This will allow children to develop their own negotiation skills and children will probably be closer to each other this way. Nurtureshock also discusses the latter - concluding that children fight so that they can get closer.

25. Be Unimpressed by Fears

If Mother and Daddy can be unimpressed by her screams, they eliminate the purpose of the fear.

No parent wants to see his child suffer. However, there are times when pain is inevitable. The child who is courageous actually suffers less. Fear of pain magnifies it out of proportion. It makes the sufferer tighten up in resistance and actually increases the pain. We must help our children to accept pain and distress. Only if we are impressed with the child's fear does he become timid and fearful.

26. Mind Your Own Business

Contacts with other people are part of the reality of life. It is our business to help the child to develop proper attitudes and effective approaches to reality.

Traditionally many teachers still ask parents to see to it that the children do their home assignments. However, if we approach the problem head-on, we invite a power contest... We can best help such a child by extricating ourselves from the contest... making it clear to the child that if he does not want to study, no one can make him do so. "It is up to you. You will make the choice as to whether or not you want to study and to learn."

27. Don't Feel Sorry

... if we pity a child, he thinks he has the right to pity himself... instead of facing his predicament and doing what can be done, he relies more and more on the pity of others... he counts on what others will do for him.

Our respect for the child demands that we support his sense of dignity, now lower it by stimulating his self-pity.

28. Make Requests Reasonable and Sparse

We should never ask a child to do what we would not like to be asked to do... When we want to make a request of a child, we must be sensitive to the situation and to the capacities of the child... When we make our requests few and far between, and enlist the child's help rather than command his services or obedience, we promote friendliness and a satisfactory interrelationship.

29. Follow Through - Be Consistent

Consistency is really a part of order, and as such helps to establish boundaries and limitations that provide the child with a sense of security.

30. Put Them All in the Same Boat (look at 24)

31. Listen!

32. Watch Your Tone of Voice

33. Take It Easy

How much better it would be for all concerned if we would relax, have confidence in our children, and give them a chance to live for themselves.

34. Downgrade "Bad" Habits

The more fuss we make over "bad" habits, the worse they get... Once the child discovers that he has done something which bothers the parent even more than usual, he has at his disposal an even stronger weapon with which to hit his parents.

35. Have Fun Together

36. Meet the Challenge of TV

... we cannot protect our children from television nor from the impressions that they receive. However, we can help the child to develop resistance against bad taste and poor judgment. This cannot be done by preaching to him!... a discussion in which the parent asks questions and then listens can be very profitable. The parent can watch the program with the children and then share their impressions in a gamelike atmosphere.

37. Use Religion Wisely

38. Talk with Them, Not to Them

39. The Family Council (establish one with rules that children help create)

A Good Reason To Start Sports Early

2010-04-22T19:47:00.000-04:00

The Brain: Why Athletes Are Geniuses

Kids and Sharp Kitchen Tools

2010-04-21T14:43:00.000-04:00

Our son WANTS to help me peel the carrots. I always feared that he might cut himself. I know other mothers who trust their 2 year olds with kitchen knives. Our son is 3, and I just started trusting myself in entrusting him with the sharp peeler. Why did I even worry? He did wonderfully without my help.

Spring Is Here!

2010-04-11T11:01:00.002-04:00

Pollen is Everywhere!

My eyes are itchy, my nose can't breathe and our local lake is GREEN.

But we can't help being outdoors - it is BEAUTIFUL to see our garden in bloom!

Educator's Discounts for Homeschoolers

2010-04-10T08:56:00.000-04:00

I love discounts. I love good deals. But I never met another person as crazy about better prices than my husband. He can spend hours searching for that bang for his buck. So he was really happy when he found out that homeschoolers get educator's discounts too. Having a homemade Homeschool ID card (look below for directions) and/or your Homeschool Association ID card for both parent (principal/teacher of the homeschool) and child (student) is important in getting those discounts.

We just renewed our card at Barnes & Noble's. Their Educator Discount is 20% off anything used for education. The also have Educator's Week where everything is 25% off, including personal items.

We have been buying educational toys for 10% off at toy stores, like Learning Express.

We also joined Homeschool Buyer's Coop. Probably started by someone like my husband, it is now the world's largest coop for homeschoolers allowing 20-90% off curricula.

But guess what? There's more discounts for homeschoolers, according to Ms. Dunheim's article Benefits of Homeschool ID Cards of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, you can get:

- student discounts at sports-related activities, conferences, museums, zoos, movies and anywhere else they allow student discounts

- educator discounts at Staples, Kinkos, CompUSA, Office Depot, Wal-Mart (fabric department), AC Moore Crafts, Ben Franklin Crafts, Hobby Lobby, JoAnn Fabrics, Barnes & Noble, Waldenbooks, Borders Books, B Dalton Books, Half-Price Books, Books-A-Million, and Book Warehouse

- free rental of classroom videos from both Blockbuster Video and Hollywood Video

- educator discounts at Apple, Microsoft, and Adobe

How To Make Your Own Homeschool ID Card? On card stock, place the following information:
- name of homeschool, address, e-mail, phone number
- school year
- name of student/teacher/principle and title underneath
- signature line
Laminate when done.

Learning About Volcanoes

2010-04-02T11:11:00.000-04:00

Dig a hole for a tall narrow bottle.

Add food colouring (ours was purple), 1/4 cup water and 2 tablespoon baking soda.

Add 1/2 cup of vinegar.

Wait for the explosion!

Our 3 Year Old Comic

2010-03-30T22:38:00.001-04:00

Son: Mama, how did I come out if I the doctor didn't cut you open?
Mama: I didn't have a doctor. I had a midwife and you came out down there.
Son: You mean I came out of your butt with your poop?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Our son is really into rhyming these days... recently '_uck' has been a favourite around here.

Son: The duck is stuck in the muck with a wuck suck luck f@ck buck puck luck... The duck is stuck in the muck with a wuck suck luck f@ck buck puck luck...(and on and on)

Hmmm... I guess there is no need right now to point out why not to say f@ck...?

Learning Greek Mythology Through Music

2010-03-27T00:09:00.005-04:00

Perseus looking for Medusa in the Gorgon Valley

Last week, our librarian sent us The Constellations - A Guide to the Orchestra by Jonathan Peters. I thought the music would go over our son's head and I thought the stories may be too gory for a 3 year old boy... was I wrong! He loves to sit and analyze which instrument is which Greek god and he narrates or performs the stories of Perseus, Medusa and the Sea Monster, Hercules, the Lion and Hydra, etc. We read stories and we play with flash cards. He really 'digs' this stuff. The stories are a little more violent than I would like for our 3 year old son - but I think the important thing is that we talk about the stories and learn from them.

In reading NurtureShock, I learned 2 important things:

1. Ethnic pride is very important to the self-confidence of children. Part Greek, our son is learning about the gods and goddesses of his people.

2. Research has found that it is not the exposure to conflict that was difficult on children, but the lack of time used in resolving it. When educational shows use more time establishing conflict between characters and less time resolving it, children became 'increasingly bossy, controlling and manipulative'. And if conflict is resolved in a respectful and affectionate manner, the children's prosocial behavior and sense of security actually increases. Now, our challenge is to create better resolutions for the conflicts in the Greek myths.

Some Resources (this will grow as we do more, so check back here):

Greek Myths Flash Cards for FREE! Our son loves these cards! Games can be played with them: matching, go fish, etc.
Learn About Volcanoes

Books our son really liked:

Greek Myths for Young Children
Hercules
Mary Pope Osborne's Tales from the Odyssey Books 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. Our son loves Mary Pope Osborne's The Magic Tree House and he loves listening to these tales just as much.

Perseus

The Hero and the Minotaur

Non-Toxic Paint

2010-03-20T10:51:00.006-04:00

Condensed Milk + Food Colouring = Paint

Our son wanted to act like a kitty cat - so we served up some raw goat's milk in a bowl for him to drink and he painted with condensed milk, an idea from our basic art book Preschool Art. It was also a good time to bring up the Pottinger Cat Experiment:

POTTINGER CAT EXPERIMENT SUMMARY

GROUP	A	B	C	D	E
Food Fed	raw meat	raw milk	pasterized milk	evaporated milk	condensed milk
1st Generation	remained healthy	remained healthy	developed diseases and illnesses near end of life
2nd Generation	remained healthy	remained healthy	developed diseases and illnesses near end of life
3rd Generation	remained healthy	remained healthy	developed diseases and ilinessess in beginning of life; many died before six months of age;
4th Generation	remained healthy	remained healthy	no fourth generation was produced: either third generation parents were sterile, or fourth generation cats were aborted before birth

Office Art

2010-03-14T21:16:00.000-04:00

Mama and Daddy are busy in the office... so the little man finds his own art project using post-its. He is thoroughly absorbed for at least 15 minutes. Phew!

School Pride

2010-03-14T21:00:00.002-04:00

Our son had the biggest smile on his face after we showed him his 'school' uniform. After washing them, he wore all 3 shirts and the matching shorts all day long. He even proudly told a friend visiting what his uniform was all about. We don't know how we instilled such school pride in him (maybe from reading Hold On To Your Kids?), but we're so happy that he is so pleased about The Cardinal House!

Building A Safe Home

2010-03-14T20:44:00.002-04:00

This past week, we found out our son is allergic to beans, chicken and red meat. Although our son's rash is down to a little patch on his leg and he can eat almost everything, we still visit our NAET practitioner weekly to hopefully help rid his allergies one at a time. Our situation is not at all terrible, but I cannot admit it has been easy. Candy on Halloween, cupcakes and ice cream at birthday parties, packaged food friends and family offer him - all of these make me cringe because I know the contents of the junk and the after effects of these: sleepless nights, more rashes, decreased immunity and at worst, 4 weeks of coughing after a bag of Valentine's candy. I cringe at the contents of anesthesia and vaccinations because they may contain chemicals he could be allergic to. At one operation, the anesthesiologist gave our son too little anesthesia and he woke up from an operation too early - even the doctor was afraid of the potential harm of chemical allergies. At home, we eat all organic food, meals are from scratch, I try to buy 100% cotton clothes, we clean with vinegar and baking soda, soaps have no fragrances, we use organic fertilizers on our garden, etc... Sometimes I ask myself if we're too much - shielding our family from as many toxins as we can. But, after watching this video A Wake-Up Story, by Healthy Child Healthy World I know we are doing the right thing. We are building a home that is loving and safe.

Tools of the Mind

2010-03-08T22:19:00.004-05:00

After reading NurtureShock, I immediately bought Tools of the Mind. In my reading, what strikes me about the Vygotskian approach to early childhood education is that its goal is to arm children with tools that extend their mental abilities through PLAY. What is important in this approach is "how the child can become what he not yet is." For example, PLAY gives the child a tool that allows him to function on a higher level in this following technique:

"Seven year old Juan has written his own version of a story he has read. The teacher asks him to "edit" his work by looking for spelling and capitalization errors. He puts on a pair of special glasses called "Editor's Eyes" to help him step out of his role of writer and into the role of editor. With the glasses on, he notices many more mistakes in his own writing."

More excerpts:

"These mental tools, or tools of the mind... extend our mental abilities... help us attend, remember, and think better... When children lack mental tools, they don't know how to learn in a deliberate fashion... When children have mental tools, they are no longer reactive learners. They can take more responsibility for learning on their own because learning becomes a self-directed activity. The teacher no longer has to take total responsibility for every aspect of the learning process. Tools relieve teachers of this unnecessary burden, and more important, they can be applied across the curriculum, from reading to math or manipulatives to dramatic play."

"What the child is able to do in collaboration today he will be able to do independently tomorrow."

Vygotskian Tactics:

Using Mediators to "promote development and help children move from assisted to independent performance... Unlike adults and older children, young children can only use mediators that are external and overt... visible to others and to the child, and can even be tangible." For example: use of pictures, arrows, tickets to remember which centers to go to next in a classroom, timers, menus for reading, language and math... In the following case, a little boy has to use 4 mediators to enable independent performance: "Lani is very distractable during group meeting time and requires maximum mediation before he is able to attend through a story. He does best hen he sits on a carpet square with his name on it, with a stuffed animal on his lap, between two children who hold his hands during the story, and in front of the teacher. With this much mediation, he is able to sit through a story. After successfully doing this for a week, the teacher begins to remove the mediators one by one."

Using Language: "Asking children to explain their thinking, to think while talking to peers, and to write and draw their understandings are ways that teachers can assist the process of unfolding verbal thinking... Written speech is not just oral speech on paper but represents a higher level of thinking. It has a profound influence on development because

1. it makes thinking more explicit (allows you to look at your thoughts)

2. it makes thinking and the use of symbols more deliberate (only what is on paper communicates)

3. it makes the child aware of the elements of language... (words make up sentences)...

... There are many parallels between how children learn to say their first words and how they learn to draw... Vygotsky considered young children's drawings a direct prerequisite to writing... Drawing can increase a child's awareness of her own thinking... Children thus begin to master the purpose of written speech long before they actually learn to write."

Using Shared Activities to learn how to regulate another and promote self-regulation: "Playing or working next to each other is not enough. The participants must communicate with each other by speaking, drawing, writing, or using another medium... A beginning reader might resist reading 2 pages when it is assigned by the teacher, but be willing to read an entire book to a younger sister... In talking, writing, or drawing for someone else, thought becomes sequential and visible to the thinker... To communicate with another person, you must be clear and explicit." Shared activities that are most beneficial for development include: cooperating with more/less/equally capable peers on same task or interrelated task, cooperating with virtual peer (i.e. drawing a map for a newcomer to campus), engaging in dramatic play and games.

Leading Activity for Preschoolers and Kindergarteners:

Make Believe Play which helps them develop symbolic function, helps them begin to act on an internal mental plane, generate imagination, integrate emotions and thinking, and develop self-regulation.

"Vygotsky believed that play (dramatic or make-believe) promotes cognitive, emotional and social development... Real play... has 3 components: children create an imaginary situation, take on and act out roles and follow a set of rules determined by specific roles."

Nonplay Activities includes games with rules, productive activities (drama, storytelling, block building, art and drawing), preacademic activities (early literacy and mathematics only if they emerge out of children's interests and only if they occur in a social context appropriate for young children - i.e. through play) and motor activities (large-muscle activities, i.e. Simon Says, Freeze, Follow the Leader, Duck Duck Goose).

Say No to Dinner in a Can

2010-03-07T16:17:00.007-05:00

Andy Warhol used themes from popular America in his Pop Art.

As this Cream of Mushroom Soup work of art suggests, dinner from a can is very popular!

I know of family recipes that are based solely on canned soups and vegetables. And growing up, I remember enjoying Pork and Beans, Corned Beef Hash and Cream of 'X' Soup. Today, I make our family's food fresh from scratch. The only canned goods I have in the pantry right now are canned tomatoes for our EZ Tomato Sauce, beans and coconut milk for curries. I now have switched to using glass bottled tomatoes during the winter months - and fresh when tomatoes are in season and I will have to try and make coconut milk from scratch.

Healthy Child Healthy World recently cited the top 10 toxic products we don't need:

1. Air fresheners

2. Drain, oven and toilet bowl cleaners

3. Canned food

4. Pesticides

5. Dry-cleaning

6. Bottled water

7. Rubber duckies

8. Couch cushions

9. Perfume and cologne

10. Oil-based paints and finishes

And yes - canned food is #3 on the list - foods that are acidic and high in fat in particular, like tomatoes and coconut - oh dear, contain high levels of BPA which leach from the epoxy lining of the can. (Yikes... thinking about tomatoes, how about bottled ketchup then? After researching, if we cannot buy it bottled in glass , we can make our own raw or cooked with bottled tomato paste or make sure that the ketchup plastic bottle we buy is not # 3, 6 or 7. )

If you are like me and worry about BPA levels, GREENS could completely block the negative effects of BPA, especially spinach and whole soy products. Our solution = GREEN SMOOTHIES! We love Green Smoothie Revolution, especially the chapter on Green Smoothies for Kids. Our son's (and my husband's) favourite green smoothies are:

1. 1 pineapple + 4 cups spinach

2. 6 pitted dates + 5 cups of lettuce + 2 cups of water

More recipes here.

We will now say NO to anything canned! (But we still love Andy Warhol's Campbell Soups!)

What Water Teaches Us

2010-03-06T22:43:00.003-05:00

Frozen Water = Snow Crystals

My mother once told me to thank all the food I was to eat. We didn't say 'grace' at home, but she said her friends had taught her that the quality of the food and drink we ate and drank changed if we were first grateful for and TO them. In the same vain, when studying Ayurvedic Nutrition, I learned that the emotions of the person who prepares your food also nurtures your body (positively or negatively). When preparing food for others, I therefore do take my role as 'cook' very seriously, especially if I am preparing meals for my family - but my thoughts and my choices in everything I do is as important every minute of the day. And in Dr. Emoto's book the visual proof of why this is so moves me.

My mother recently suggested I read Dr. Masaru Emoto's book The Hidden Messages in Water. We recently watched What the Bleep Do We Know so I was open to and interested in reading the book. What impressed me first and foremost about the message of the book was the POWER of ONE PERSON's thoughts: Dr. Emoto found that one's thoughts affected the structure of water. Merely thinking "I love you" created beautiful crystals in water, while crystals were unformed and patterns were asymmetrical when directed with negative thoughts. Secondly, how one structures his or her environment is fundamental to one's being: Dr. Emoto found that even printed words placed near water and music played around water affected its structure. Click here for photographs of water crystals.

Dr. Emoto's message is important because as he writes in his book:

"We start out life being 99% water, as fetuses. When we are born, we are 90% water, and by the time we reach adulthood we are down to 70%. If we die of old age, we will probably be about 50% water. In other words, throughout our lives we exist mostly in water... So how can people live happy and healthy lives? The answer is to purify the water that makes up 70% of your body...

water has the ability to copy and memorize information...

All the classical music that we exposed the water to resulted in well-formed crystals with distinct characteristics. In contrast, the water exposed to violent heavy metal music resulted in fragmented and malformed crystals at best... Water exposed to "Thank You" formed beautiful hexagonal crystals, but water exposed to the word "Fool" produced crystals similar to the water exposed to heavy-metal music, malformed and fragmented... "Let's do it!" created attractive, well-formed crystals, but.. "Do it!" barely formed any crystals at all... The vibration of good words has a positive effect on our world, whereas the vibration from negative words has the power to destroy.

Words are an expression of the soul. And the condition of our soul is very likely to have an enormous impact on the water that composes as much as 70% of our body, and this impact will in no small way affect our bodies.

We must take care to give our children our attention, and to talk with them. Speaking words of kindness and love should begin from the time of conception."

Other Resources:

Dr. Emoto's Peace Project for Children - activities for kids to learn the importance of thoughts and how it affects everything around us

Water Crystal of the Month - Dr. Emoto posts a different crystal every month on this site

I Took His Hand and Followed

2010-02-27T20:49:00.000-05:00

I read this from a reader's blog (Thank you Pip's Mum!!!) - and it was just what I needed for today. This past week I've helped my little boy 'grow' and sometimes this is joyful and sometimes this can be a sad release. Joy in that our son decided to wear big boy underpants at night for the past 4 nights with great success. Sad release tonight in that we needed to teach our son to sleep through the night, without mama trips to him from once to 3 times a night. For 3 years without a full night's sleep, I need a change from our nighttime rituals - and he needs to know and respect that. But at the same time, I was sad - really sad, because I too loved those cuddles in the middle of the night. I wonder sometimes if I am growing more into 'motherhood' than my son into 'manhood' because of these little events.

I Took His Hand and Followed
Mrs. Roy L. Peifer

My dishes went unwashed today,

I didn't make the bed,

I took his hand and followed

Where his eager footsteps led.

Oh yes, we went adventuring,

My little son and I...

Exploring all the great outdoors

Beneath the summer sky

We waded in a crystal stream,

We wandered through a wood...

My kitchen wasn't swept today

But life was gay and good.

We found a cool, sun-dappled glade

And now my small son knows

How Mother Bunny hides her nest,

Where jack-in-the-pulpit grows.

We watched a robin feed her young,

We climbed a sunlit hill...

Saw cloud-sheep scamper through the sky,

We plucked a daffodil.

That my house was neglected,

That I didn't brush the stairs,

In twenty years, no one on earth

Will know, or even care.

But that I've helped my little boy

To noble manhood grow,

In twenty years, the whole wide world

May look and see and know.

The Smarter Preschooler

2010-02-16T14:27:00.002-05:00

Recently, I was talking to my friend about why we chose not to put our children in a day care or preschool programme. The Smarter Preschooler: Unlocking Your Child's Intellectual Potential by Renee and Mike Mosiman explains our thoughts exactly. Some excerpts:

"We urge you to create an intellectually stimulating environment, but not an intellectually demanding one... In an intellectually stimulating environment, a preschooler's mind is best sharpened through age-appropriate enriching activities under the guidance of a loving parent... activites that incorporate learning through play... Although experts continue to debate the proportional influence of genetics versus environment on intelligence, all agree both contribute to a child's intelligence. Even Richard Herrnstien and Charles Murray, who argue the case for the genetic influence on intelligence, agree that about 40% of your smarts are a result of your environment... Interestingly, observation alone is ineffective to develop the brain: there must be active engagement. For example, rats that simply watched other rats in an enriched environment did not show much increase in brain size... Seeing may be believing, but observation alone does little to increase brain matter."

In the chapter devoted to "Why Not to Send Your Child to Preschool", they cite the following issues: behavior problems, labeling children, class size, compartmentalization (of child's education), parental attachment, peer dependence, cost, variety of experiences (lack of), mom may have more education, too much school, no one cares like you,

SNOW IS HERE!!!

2010-02-13T20:23:00.001-05:00

Yum... snow topped with maple syrup.

Fresh Snow!

NurtureShock

2010-02-11T22:43:00.006-05:00

What an interesting read NurtureShock was! For more information look at their Nurtureshock website. It is chock full of information.

Here are some excerpts from their book:

Chapters:

1. The Inverse Power of Praise

Sure, he's special. But new research suggests if you tell him that, you'll ruin him. It's a neurobiological fact.

Praising their effort is what is important.

Book explains: While we might imagine that overpraised kids grow up to be unmotivated softies, the researchers are reporting the opposite consequence. Dweck and others have found that frequently-praised children get more competitive and more interested in tearing others down. Image-maintenance becomes their primary concern... Students praised for intelligence choose to find out their class rank, rather than use the time to prepare... Of the kids praised for their intelligence, 40% lie, inflating their scores (in a do-it-yourself report card sent to another school). Of the kids praised for effort, few lie... Students turn to cheating because they haven't developed a strategy for handling failure. The problem is compounded when a parent ignores a child's failures and insists he'll do better next time... A child deprived of the opportunity to discuss mistakes can't learn from them.

2. The Lost Hour

Around the world, children get an hour less sleep than they did thirty years ago. The cost: IQ points, emotional well-being, ADHD, and obesity.

Book says: According to surveys by the National Sleep Foundation, 90% of American parents think their child is getting enough sleep... The kids themselves say otherwise: 60% of high schoolers report extreme daytime sleepiness. A quarter admit their grades have dropped because of it. Depending on what study you look at, anywhere from 20% to 33% are falling asleep in class at least once a week... Every hour of weekend shift [of sleep]costs a child seven points on the [standardized] test.

3. Why White Parent's Don't Talk About Race

Does teaching children about race and skin color make them better off or worse?

Book says: It was no surprise that in a liberal city like Austin, every parent was welcoming multiculturalists, embracing diversity. But Vittrup had also noticed, in the original surveys, that hardly any of these white parents had ever talked to their children directly about race. They might have assserted vague priniciples in the home - like "Everybody's equal" or "God made all of us" or "Under the skin, we're all the same" - but they had almost never called attention to racial differences... They wanted their children to grow up color-blind. But Vittrup could also see from her first test of the kids that they weren't color-blind at all. Asked how many white people are mean, these children commonly answered "Almost none". Asked how many blacks are mean, many answered "Some" or "A lot". Even kids who attended diverse schools answered some of the questions this way... Most disturbingly, Vittrup had also asked all the kids a very blunt question: "Do your parents like black people?" If the white parents never talked about race explicitly, did the kids know that their parents liked black people? Apparantly not: 14% said, outright, "No, my parents don't like black people"; 38% of the kids answered, "I don't know." In this supposed race-free vacuum being created by parents, kids were left to improvise their own conclusions - many of which would be abhorent to their parents... Nonwhite parents are about three times more likely to discuss race than white parents; 75% of the latter never, or almost never, talk about race...

Preparation-for-bias is not, however, the only way minorities talk to their children about race. The other broad category of conversation, in Harris-Britt's analysis, is ethnic pride. From a very young age, minority children are coached to be proud of their ethnic history. She found that this was exceedingly good for children's self-confidence; in one study, black children who'd heard message of ethnic pride were more engaged in school and more likely to attribute their success to their effort and ability.

4. Why Kids Lie

We may treasure honesty, but the research is clear. Most classic strategies to promote truthfulness just encourage kids to be better liars.

Book says: A number of scholars have used variations of this temptation paradigm to test thousands of children over the last few years. What they've learned has turned conventional assumptions upside down... The first thing they've learned is that children learn to lie much earlier than we presumed. In Talwar's peeking game, only a third of the 3 year olds will peek, and when asked if they peeked, most of them will admit it. But over 80% of the 4 year olds peek. Of those, over 80% will lie when asked, asserting they haven't peeked. By their 4th birthday, almost all kids will start experimenting with lying. Children with older siblings seem to learn it slightly earlier... Parents often fail to address early childhood lying, since the lying is almost innocent - their child's too young to know what lies are, or that lying's wrong. When their child gets older and learns those distinctions, the parents believe, the lying will stop. This is dead wrong, according to Dr. Talwar. The better a young child can distinguish a lie from the truth, the more likely she is to lie give the chance... In studies where children are observed in their homes, 4 year olds will lie once in every 2 hours, while a 6 year old will lie about once every hour. Few kids are an exception. In these same studies, 96% of all kids offer up lies...

... it's lying that is the more advanced skill. A child who is going to lie must recognize the truth, intellectually conceive of an alternate reality, and be able to convincingly sell that new reality to someone else... Indeed, kids who start lying at 2 or 3- or who can control verbal leakage at or 5- do better on other test of academic prowess. "Lying is related to intelligence," confirmed Talwar, "but you still have to deal with it."...

In Talwar's peeking game, sometimes the researcher pauses the game with, "I'm about to ask you a question. But before I do that, will you promise to tell the truth?" (Yes the child answers.)... This promise cuts down lying by 25%. In other scenarios, Talwar's researcher will read the child a short storybook before she asks about the peeking. One of the stories read is The Boy Who Cried Wolf... alternatively... George Washington and the Cherry Tree... The story ends with his father's reply: "George, I'm glad that you cut down that cherry tree after all. Hearing you tell the truth is better than if I had a thousand cherry trees."... The Boy Who Cried Wolf... actually did not cut down lying at all...George Washington and the Cherry Tree reduced lying a whopping 75% in boys, and 50% in girls... Little George receives both immunity and praise for telling the truth... according to Talwar, parents need to teach kids the worth of honesty just as much as they need to say that lying is wrong.

5. The Search For Intelligent Life in Kindergarten
Millions of kids are competing for seats in gifted programs and private schools. Admissions officers say it's an art: new science says they're wrong, 73% of the time.

Book says: Regardless of what is being tested, or which test is used, they all have one thing in common. They're all astonishingly ineffective predictors of a young child's academic success... To give you a hint of the scale of the problem - if you picked 100 kindergartners as the "gifted", i.e. the smartest, by 3rd grade only 27 of them would still deserve that categorization...

Consider South Carolina... Despite revamping the admissions process to increase minority participation, the program remained disproportionately white (86%). But even more disturbing was the number of kids in the gifted program - regardless of race - who weren't functioning as gifted at all... In math, 12% of the gifted kids scored as having only a "basic" ability level. Another 30% were merely "proficient". In English, the numbers were far worse... the twenty largest public school districts in America... not one district waits until 3rd grade to screen the children... what stands out as problems are: the districts who don't give late-blooming children additional chances to test in, and the lack of objective retesting to ensure the kids who got in young really belong there... Back in SC, they've actually instituted new rules to protect low-performing kids in the gifted classes... The Palmetto State isn't the only one... rooted in a belief that if you're ever gifted, you're gifted for life.

6. The Sibling Effect
Freud was wrong. Shakespeare was right. Why siblings fight.

Book says: By growing up with siblings, a child has thousands upon thousands of interactions to learn how to get along. According to this theory, children with siblings should be massively more skilled at getting along than children with no siblings. Yet they aren't... [Kramer] points out that in many sibling relationships, the rate of conflict can be high, but the fun times in the backyard and in the basement more than balance it out. This net-positive is what predicts a good relationship later in life. In contrast, siblings who simply ignored each other had less fighting, but their relationship stayed cold and distant long term...

The most common reason the kids were fighting was the same one... sharing the castle's toys. Almost 80% of the older children, and 75% of the younger kids, all said sharing physical possessions - or claiming them as their own - caused the most fights...

Parents imagine that the difference in age between siblings is an important factor..."Relative to other factors," said Kramer, "age spacing is not as strong a predictor. Nor is gender. There's many other things to be concerned about."... One of the best predictors of how well two siblings get along is determined before the birth of a younger child... It has nothing to do with the parents. Instead, the predictive factor is the quality of the older child's relationship with his best friend... The kids who could play in a reciprocal, mutual style with their best friend were the ones who had good rapport with their younger siblings, years later... older siblings train on their friends, and then apply what they know to their little brothers and sisters... Which is why, in a sense, what Kramer is really trying to do is transform children's relationships from sibship to something more akin to a real friendship.

7. The Science of Teen Rebellion
Why, for adolescents, arguing with adults is a sign of respect, not disrespect - and arguing is constructive to the relationship, not destructive.

Yikes... give me 10 more years before I even read this chapter.

8. Can Self-Control Be Taught?
Developers of a new kind of preschool keep losing their grant money - the students are so successful they're no longer "at-risk enough" to warrant further study. What's their secret?

After reading this chapter, I couldn't go to sleep - this kind of learning through narration role playing came naturally to our son. Does this really work? I just needed to research more about Tools of the Mind and look for ways to apply this more at home. FYI, they only sell curriculum to State schools, but you can buy the book for more information.

Book says: A typical Tools preschool classroom looks different... The wall calendar is not a month-by-month grid, but a straight line of days on a long ribbon of paper. Gone is the traditional alphabet display; instead, children use a sound map, which has a monkey next to Mm and a sun next to Ss. These are ordered not from A to Z but rather in clusters, with consonants on one map and vowels on another. C, K and Q are in one cluster, because those are similar sounds, all made with the tongue mid-mouth. Sounds made with the teeth or the lips are in other clusters.

When class begins, the teacher tells the students they will be playing fire station. The previous week, they learned all about firemen, so now, the classroom has been decorated in four different areas - in one corner is a fire station, in another a house that needs saving. The children choose what role they want to take on... Before the children begin to play, they each tell the teacher their choice of role.

With the teacher's help, the children make individual "play plans". The all draw a picture of themselves in their chosen role, then they attempt to write it out as a sentence on a blank sheet of paper to the best of their abilities. Even 3 year olds write daily... Then they go play, sticking to the role... for a full 45 minutes, with the children, staying in character, self- motivated. If they get distracted or start to fuss, the teacher asks, "Is that in your play plan?" On different days of the week, children choose other roles in the scenario. During this crucial play hour, the teacher facilitates their play but does not directly teach them anything at all...

Later, they wil do what's called buddy reading. The children are paired up and sit facing each other... one... flips through a book, telling the story he sees in the picture. The other listens and at the end, asks a question about the story. Then they switch roles.

They also commonly play games, like Simon says, that require restraint. One variation is called graphic practice; the teacher puts on music, and the children draw spirals and shapes. Intermittently, the teacher pauses the music, and the children learn to stop their pens whenever the music stops...

After pilot-testing the program... in these classrooms 1/3 to 1/2 of the children were poor Hispanic students who began the year classified as having limited English-language proficiency; the were starting kindergarten effectively a grade-level behind.... The results were jaw-dropping. The children from the Tools classes were now almost a full grade-level ahead of the national standard. In the district, only 1/2 the kindergarteners score as proficient at their grade-level. Of the Tools children, 97% scored as proficient... [in another pilot Tools preshcool program] it was the kids' behavior ratings that really sold the schools principal on the program. From the teachers in the regular classrooms, the principal got reports of extremely disruptive behavior almost everyday... But those kinds of reports never came from the Tools classes...[In Neptue school] the average reading scores for the school district translated into the 65th percentile on the national spectrum. The Tools kindergarteners (on average) had jumped more than 20 ticks higher, to the 86th percentile. The kids who tested as gifted almost all came from the Tools classes.

9. Plays Well With Others
Why modern involved parenting has failed to produce a generation of angels.

Book says: The more educational media the children watched, the more relationally aggressive they were. They were increasingly bossy, controlling, and manipulative. This wasn't a small effect. It was stronger than the connection between violent media and physical aggression... Ostrov theorized that many educational shows spend most of the half-hour establishing conflict between characters and only a few minutes resolving conflict...

Cummings recently has shown that being exposed to constructive marital conflict can actually be good for children - if it doesn't escalate, insults are avoided, and the dispute is resolved with affection. This improves their sense of security, over time, and increases their prosocial behavior at school as rated by teachers. Cummings noted, "Resolution as to be sincere, not manipulated for their benefit..." Kids learn a lesson in conflict resolution: the argument gives them an example of how to compromise and reconcile - a lesson lost for the child spared witnessing an argument...

We thought that aggressiveness was the reaction to peer rejection, so we have painstakingly attempted to eliminate peer rejection from the childhood experience. In its place is elaborately orchestrated peer interaction... We've segregated children by age... Unwittingly, we've put children into an echo chamber... This has created the perfect atmosphere for a different strain of aggression-virus to breed - one fed not by peer rejection, but fed by the need for peer status and social ranking. The more time peers spend together, the stronger this compulsion is to rank high, resulting in the hostility of one-upmanship. All those lessons about sharing and consideration can hardly compete. We wonder why it takes 20 years to teach a child how to conduct himself in polite society - overlooking the fact that we've essentially left our children to socialize themselves.

10. Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't
Despite scientists' admonitions, parents still spend billions every year on gimmicks and videos, hoping to jump-start infants' language skills. What's the right way to accomplish this goal?

Basically, it's not just the vast vocabulary heard at home, but more importantly, how fast, how many times and how accurate a parent interprets and responds to an infant who is trying to communicate.

Quote of the Day

2010-02-10T19:27:00.002-05:00

A "no" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater

than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

- Mahatma Gandhi -

Preschool Homeschool Resources Year 2

2010-02-07T21:38:00.012-05:00

When my husband and I decided we wanted to homeschool, we decided to 'practice' to see if we could do it. I think we are more comfortable now with the idea as this would be year 2 of our practice run (course it gets harder, but we now have researched extensively and understand the basics). For all our friends and family who ask what we do everyday - here it is! Our 3 year old son enjoys his days (except for some - or most? - of the habit training)!

And why don't we wait till he is 6 years old? Ummm... I was once a believer in unschooling, but because we listened and our son just led the way and we have simply found the activities he enjoys - here is where we ended up. Our thoughts on formal education here.

FREE TIME (lots of this)

Lots of FREE TIME to play.

We also now try to incorporate Play Plans daily which we learned from NurtureShock (look at Chapter 8) and read from the Tools of the Mind - which starts with our son writing his name, drawing what he wants to do in play and dictating to me what I should write underneath the drawing. He then plays uninterrupted according to his plan for about 30 minutes or more, depending on his interest. Today our son chose to act as Elmo playing the evil sorcerer in Swan Lake...

We also have done a Star Wars 'curriculum'.

NATURE STUDY (an hour or so daily)

We watched a Woodpecker at work today

We enjoy the outdoors everyday. We wouldn't know what we would have done if we lived in a city. Our son needs to be outdoors a lot - or rather we need him to be outdoors a lot, otherwise behavioral issues increase. It is amazing how much one can learn from observing nature. Every week we learn something new. We supplement with YouTube, our Audubon Regional Guide (Thank you Glennda!) and The Handbook of Nature Study, the latter is such a good resource for parents! Nature study inspires some Science work too (look below).

HABITS (continuous)

The BEST book on parenting I have found is Children: The Challeng e. Written in the 1960's, but still EXTREMELY effective! When the terrible 2s arrived at our house, I was getting increasingly panicky because I felt I wasn't doing a good job with solving behavioral issues (I'm not the disciplinarian type) - and they were getting worse by the day and increased in intensity in public. After searching and researching, reading one parenting book after the other, I found the suggestion of Children: The Challenge from a book on how to homeschool gifted kids called Creative Homeschooling. The basic premise is that children want to be able to make choices - they don't want to be told what to do as this belittles and disrespects them. The day I got Children: The Challenge, I could not put it down. Although I don't agree with a few things, on the whole it is an amazing book on parenting. The next day, I practiced what techniques I learned/remembered from the book and my son and I got along beautifully. Although we have our bad moments, my son and I continue to make negative issues into wonderfully educational experiences because of this book. I have read it twice now and very highly recommend it to everyone!

The Self-Awakened Child Series by Jonathan Wolff - This series helps young children develop the qualities of character essential for “normalization.” Each of the 15 books focuses on a specific quality and includes parables, role plays, affirmations, self-awareness and self-assessment exercises that help children learn to make respectful and responsible decisions: includes Acceptance, Assertiveness, Compassion, Courage, Creativity, Forgiveness, Honesty, Kindness, Loyalty, Peace, Respect, Responsibility, Self-Discipline, Trust and Unity. We've only done Acceptance, Assertiveness and Compassion, but our son asks for the stories from this series and he enjoys discussing situations the books suggests.

MUSIC STUDY (hours daily - most of the time in the car or while having a meal or in the background)

The Nutcracker and The Broomsticks

(mix of The Nutcracker and The Sorcerer's Apprentice)

We study 1 composer for 6 weeks, listening to works during different parts of the day - even if it is background music. Our son particularly loves The Children's Group Classical Kids Series, especially Mozart's Magic Fantasy, Tchaikovsky Discovers America and Vivaldi's Ring of Mystery. We have shared this series with other homeschool families, who equally love it. Our son also loves Little Amadeus. We just listened to The Constellations A Guide to the Orchestra and he was engaged throughout. It is also a good introduction to Greek Myths. We supplement with videos or live performances or web resources such as Classics For Kids (they have lesson plans, free music files, information on instruments and composers, etc). Our son also loves creating art to music too. We have studied so far with great success: Magic Flute, Nutcracker, Swan Lake, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Peter and the Wolf. We play a varied array of music at home from too. We supplement with Music Together classes and other methods.

Other activities: Learning Greek Mythology Through Music

READING (an hour or more daily)

We are readers here. Honey For The Child's Heart and Read Aloud Handbook are wonderful booklists and discuss why reading is so important. Also we use our Local Library a lot - with 3 library cards, that's 180 books we can borrow at anyone time!!! We do use it and we love our librarians!!! Other booklists include The New York Times Parent's Guide to the Best Books for Your Children, Some of My Best Friends are Book s, Early Reading List on Simply Charlotte Mason and the Ambleside Lis t.

The 20th Century Children's Book Treasury: Picture Books and Stories to Read Aloud - a great compilation for the kindergartener! If there is 1 book you can buy, get this all in one!

What Your Kindergarten Needs To Know by Core Knowledge - a complete book for the basics: stories, poems, maths, art, science, history, etc. And a natural progression from the Core Konwledge Preschool Activity Books.

ART STUDY and ARTS and CRAFTS (5 - 20 minutes daily)

Warhol Study (paint)

Kandinsky Study (collage)

We study 1 artist for 6 weeks, looking at a work of art once a week. Instead of just 'looking' at a piece of art, I sometimes make it fun by creating an Arts and Crafts project. We have studied so far with great success: Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollock, Roy Lichtenstein, Wassily Kandinsky, Rufino Tamayo. We supplement with lots of arts and crafts during the week using varied materials: collage, clay, paint, pens, pencils, etc.

MANDARIN (5 - 30 minutes daily)

Better Chinese: My First Chinese Words - I cannot say enough good things about this curriculum! It allowed me to teach my son Mandarin - he LOVES it. I am not fluent, but have studied it in the past. I have put a group of homeschoolers together whose parents don't speak Mandarin at all and the children are all reading and trying to speak Chinese. What is great about this curriculum is that it teaches through stories, 1 book/week. You can also purchase game cards, the on-line lessons and free downloadable activities. Caution: we don't like the music CD, so we don't recommend it.

MATH (5 minutes/4 days/wk)

Kindergarten Singapore Maths Textbooks A and B - our son finds book A too easy, but I like to think we're not missing out on the basics. He likes it enough but I write out all his answers for him or else he gets bored. We have lots of mathematical toys too and count while playing.

LANGUAGE (5 minutes/4 days/wk)

Modern Curriculum Press Phonics Level K - basic phonics that continues where Core Knowledge Preschool Books left off. Our son does not want to do all the writing required, however he likes the phonics work in this book - easy after Core Knowledge Preschool Activity books, we do 1 letter/1 or 2 days. When we are done with the above, we will start Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Interesting note, I looked into the British National Curriculum - their workbooks for 3 - 4 year olds are at the same level as that of the US Kindergarten books!

COPYWORK (5 - 10 minutes daily)

Alligator Drawing

(learning O's, M's, W's, V's, A's)

Activities which help build fine motor skills: stickers, playdough, tools, blocks, art work, etc. We have a few Kumon books (our son loved it in this order: Color 1, Color 2, Color 3, Maze, Trace), which make learning to write/writing fun and easy! Our son also enjoys writing 'notes' on anything and everything. And we draw play plans every day (look under Free Time).

SCIENCE (2x/wk)

What will the ants eat first? How? How long?

We love our local zoo classes! We supplement with some experiments from Mudpies to Magnets and More Mudpies to Magnets and read the Kingfisher First Human Body Encyclopedia and Encyclopedia of Animals. We have also done a Human Body lapbook, which I think I enjoyed more than our son did.

HISTORY AND GEOGRAPHY (2x/wk)

Cave Painting Project

We try to get to know local history through field trips. We use travel and food to learn geography. We also love The Story of the World though we have censored a few chapters. For 1st graders, but our son loves the art activities and the literature that are recommended for each chapter.

PHILOSOPHY (1x/wk)

Buddhism - Our son asked a lot about death: where do we go, what happens to our skeletons, what happens to our flesh when we die, etc? Along with kindness and other gentle philosophies, Buddhist stories helped our son understand more about death.

SPANISH (1x/wk)

Click here.

CURRICULUM QUESTIONS

The Well Trained Mind Forum is a great resource. You can compare different curricula after some research from people who have actually used them in a homeschool setting. Of course, there is also The Well Trained Mind, which is a great resource to have at home.

Thoughts on Formal Education for Preschoolers

2010-01-31T10:26:00.003-05:00

Delay Formal Education for Our Preschooler?

After reading David Elkind's Miseducation: Preschoolers At Risk, I was convinced of delaying any formal education for our son. But we struggled with this issue. Although we were outdoors a lot, our days were largely unstructured and free, not to mention I was a proponent of unschooling at that time, our son really loved sitting down and reading book after book after book. At one point we were borrowing 60 books a week from the library because he loved to read, but would NOT read any one book twice - and he was only 1 years old. He loved being outdoors though and did not enjoy any structured activities (gym, library, music, preschool homeschool or other). After much thought, I bought the Core Knowledge Preschool Activity Books 1 and 2 and it was a success. Our son finished the books in a year.

When to Start Formal Education?

Our son is now 3 and our homeschool schedule and Charlotte Mason style (with 10-30 minutes/day of Direct Instruction) is comfortable. And after recently reading David Elkind's other book Reinventing Childhood, I am relieved that we introduced some type of formal education to our son when he seemed ready and responded positively to it. In The Gifted and Early Childhood Education chapter, he writes that contrary to popular belief, formal education has positive results for children who are ready for it:

"During the early and middle decades of the twentieth century, educational programs for gifted young children consisted primarily of early admittance to kindergarten and acceleration through the grades. For example, beginning in 1932, children in Brookline, MA were admitted to kindergarten on the basis of their Mental Age as well as their chronological age.

All children were admitted to kindergarten if they were four years and nine months of age on October 1st. In addition, children who were chronologically younger but who attained MA's of four years and ten months (later raised to five years) were also admitted. As a result, some children as young as four years of age were admitted to kindergarten on the basis of their MA... A follow-up study of these children was conducted over a ten-year period. In first grade and in each of the succeeding years, the younger children received more A's and B's, had fewer failures and trial promotions, and had higher test scores... A number of studies in other states reported similar results...found that children's Mental Age was significantly more influential in determining the children's achievement than was their chronological age, their IQ, or some combination of the two... There is ongoing controversy about what is the appropriate age for children's entrance into kindergarten and whether or not to hold children back who are not "ready" for first grade. What some of these policies ignore, and what the [above] study reflects, is that early childhood is a period of very rapid intellectual growth, and children with the same IQ's may nonetheless grow at different rates. The MA is therefore a better measure of intellectual growth rate than is the IQ, in that the MA measures the child's qualitative progress... And it is the attainment of these operations, rather than IQ or chronological age, that is the most important factor ensuring a child's success with formal instruction."

Why Practice Makes Perfect - And Sooner Rather Than Later

Having a musical child, reading Daniel Levitin's book This is Your Brain on Music: Understanding A Human Obsession further affirmed our belief that exposure while young to many appropriate subjects and especially to what our son cares about makes a difference:

"If a child doesn't learn language by the age of six or so (whether a first or a second language), the child will never learn to speak with the effortlessness that characterizes most native speakers of a language. Music and mathematics have an extended window, but not an unlimited one: If a student hasn't had music lessons or mathematical training prior to about age twenty, he can still learn these subjects, but only with great difficulty, and it's likely that he will never "speak" math or music like someone who learned them early. This is because of the biological course for synaptic growth. The brain's synapses are programmed to grow for a number of years, making new connections. After that time, there is a shift toward pruning, to get rid of unneeded connections."

And learning needs practice:

"Like experts in mathematics, chess, or sports, experts in music require lengthy periods of instruction and practice in order to acquire the skills necessary to truly excel. In several studies, the very best conservatory students were found to have practiced the most, sometimes twice as much as those who weren't judged as good... This suggests that practice is the cause of achievement, not merely something correlated with it...

The emerging picture from such studies is that ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery associated with being a world-class expert - in anything. In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals, and what have you, this number comes up again and again. Ten thousand hours is equivalent to roughly three hours a day, or twenty hours a week, of practice over ten years... no one has yet found a case in which true world-class expertise was accomplished in less time... The then-thousand-hours theory is consistent with what we know about how the brain learns. Learning requires the assimilation and consolidation of information in neural tissue. The more experiences we have with something, the stronger the memory/learning trace for that experience becomes... The strength of a memory is related to how many times the original stimulus has been experienced.

Memory strength is also a function of how much we care about the experience... Caring may, in part, account for some of the early differences we see in how quickly people acquire new skills. If I really like a particular piece of music, I'm going to want to practice it more... these factors... lead to measurable neurochemical changes. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with emotional regulation, alertness, and mood, is released, and the dopaminergic system aids in the encoding of the memory trace..."

Yoga For Kids

2010-01-29T20:00:00.003-05:00

I practice yoga 2 to 3 times a week. My son and I have practiced yoga together, I've done yoga picture cards, I have yoga books, and storybooks about yoga. We've borrowed a few yoga videos for children, but nothing inspires my son more than Mrs. Yoga's videos 1, 2 and 3. We found an old VHS for 50 cents from our library sale... and it's been worth so much more. These are fun, educational and encourage young ones to MOVE! We highly recommend them!

Looking For Rudolf

2009-12-19T21:35:00.000-05:00

Buddhism For Young Kids

2009-12-18T13:56:00.003-05:00

I have been looking for ways to try to teach our son more about Buddhism. And I have found a great FREE on-line website to start us off on Buddhanet. They have Buddhist studies for both primary and secondary students. Not only do they offer free syllabi, but also many free Buddhsim e-books that are excellent. Among the e-books, our 3 year old son really likes the Key Stage 1: A Textbook on Buddhism for children aged between 5-7. A companion to Key Stage 1 could be the Story of Buddha Colouring Book, but definitely the other free art and crafts downloads too. Each unit offers free activities (meditations, music, stories, puzzlies) and a quiz for testing comprehension.

Other resources:
Buddhist Children's Books - to introduce young children to concepts of Buddhism

Family Dharma Connections - reviews books, has different Buddhism links

Global Villages School - offers homeschoolers education with Buddhist perspective from k to 12
More Free E-books from Buddhanet - some favourites are Love Your Children The Right Way, The Upside Down World, Seeding the Heart and Guided Meditations for Primary Students

MUD

2009-12-09T15:40:00.001-05:00

It's so much more fun when you are equipped!

Or not!

Getting Ready For Xmas

2009-12-07T02:42:00.003-05:00

Using our son's art work for gift wrapping after our Zoo teacher e-mailed us:

Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, Americans produce an extra 2 billon pounds of garbage each week- much of this is from gift packaging. If every American family wrapped three presents in recyclable materials, we would save enough paper to cover 45,000 football fields.

Top 10 Green Gift Wrap Ideas

Frugal and Green Gift Wrapping Ideas

Mandarin Curriculum

2009-11-14T02:29:00.004-05:00

After searching and searching for ways to teach our son Mandarin in a way he actually enjoys, I've found it! My First Chinese Words is a fantastic curriculum for 2 - 6 year olds! Children learn Mandarin through stories (1 book per week) - not textbooks or flashcards - and through activities that tie in to the stories. A CD is enclosed for parents who do not speak Mandarin, so children are able to hear proper pronunciations when reading the books. The exercise books sold separately help children distinguish and learn how to write Chinese characters. There are free on-line activities and a free 1 month trial to their online resources - YIKES - no more free printable activities after writing this post! :( The parent/teacher guide is also very helpful with ideas and planning how to teach each book. It's been a week and I have read My First Chinese Words book #1 to our son everyday this week and he freely worked on activities to learn more Mandarin! He even has asked to watch Mei Mei videos to supplement his new found motivation to learn Chinese.

Although a lot of educators have told me that it is the teacher, not the curriculum, that makes an impact on children, I have discovered that it is finding and using the correct tools to motivate our son to learn that makes a difference.

Organic Clothing

2009-11-14T02:03:00.002-05:00

Nobody ever told me that I needed to stop wearing the clothes I love wearing when one has a son! Some of my favourite clothes have holes in them due to "I love you Mama" roughhousing, stains due to "Mama let's sit right here in the mud" fun or "oops I didn't mean it" non-washable "washable" paint. Best memory is of my new pair of black jeans I wore to the zoo - we were surprised by a visit to the 'bedroom' of the elephants where you have to sanitize your shoes going in and going out in a chlorox solution. Long story short, my son's boots scraped my jeans several times - and now I have bleach spotted jeans. I don't mean to complain, all these things are reminders of the fun my son and I have together.

That said, I have been wanting to 'green' my wardrobe - not only for me but for my son. I read recently in a Get Fresh Magazine that if you step on a piece of crushed garlic with your bare foot, you would be able to taste the garlic in your mouth. The same week, I watched my friend's son's back break out in hives after wearing a new polyester filled shirt. Yes - what we touch affects us too - whether it shows or not. So, for my birthday this year I asked for affordable, nice looking, but I-can-wear-this-sort-of-thing-with-my-son-around organic cotton clothing. Why? Because organic cotton is natural and has no toxins, harsh chemical bleaches or dyes and is allergy free. Not knowing anything about 'green' clothes, I quickly searched Zappo s and found some durable to son's wear and tear, soft, washable, stretchable, yes - nice looking organic and affordable clothes.

Needless to say, I'm hooked. I'll be looking for more sustainable clothing for me and my family!

Websites to check out:
Green Loop
Patagonia
Stella McCartney's Green Collection

Our Little Boy

2009-11-14T01:31:00.006-05:00

Our 'Obi-Wan' is all boy.
He loves collecting sticks for various purposes
and here he is heading for the hole in the tree.

Before he was born, we nicknamed our son "Obi-Wan". The pregnancy was a breeze. The delivery was very easy. And even after he was born, our baby seemed so calm, wise and gentle - even all-knowing. He was so easy and then the Terrible 'something' just popped out of nowhere a few months shy of his 3rd birthday. I was relieved when the Terrible 2s never seemed to show up... but these days I am at a loss of how to 'discipline' or in better terms how to teach our soon-to-be-3-year-old boy better 'habits'.

How to parent Obi-Wan without losing my head? I reach for books to find solutions that can work for us. Having read R aising Cain : Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys before 'Obi-Wan' was born, I have recently re-read it and found information I need to parent well.

Some excerpts:

Lacking an emotional education, a boy meets the pressures... with the only responses he has learned and practiced - and that he knows are socially acceptable - the typically "manly" responses of anger, aggression, and emotional withdrawal.

A boy must see and believe that emotions belong in the life of a man.

Many men readily acknowledge that... they prefer to avoid emotional people and situations. That doesn't mean, however, that men lack the "wiring" for expressing or understanding emotion. Newborn boys, on average, are actually more emotionally reactive than girls. For example, studies show that baby boys cry more than baby girls when they are frustrated or upset.

We know that mothers who explain their emotional reactions to their preschool children and who do not react negatively to a child's vivid display of sadness, fear, or anger will have children who have a greater understanding of emotions.

In his weary review of life at school, Alan has described the nature of the problem so many boys have there. In essence, they sit all morning, and they have to keep track of those little books and not drop them in the water. And if they can't move around, they feel trapped and turned off to anything the teacher might have to offer.

A boy's most common response to controlling behavior is not to be controlled - to become confrontational or defiant.

The emotional turmoil a boy feels - shame, anger, sadness - and his difficulty expressing those feelings may contribute to high activity and impulsiveness.

Boys can achieve a high standard of self-control and discipline in an environment that allows them significant freedom to be physically active.

When adults use these more coercive, power-oriented approaches, even among young boys, we see a greater likelihood that the discipline will backfire: the boy will response with an aggressive counterattack to retaliate. A parent may feel the incident is over when the boy stops the offending behaviour. But if the boy feels unfairly assaulted or shamed, the conflict remains alive for him until he resolves the feelings. That may take hours, days or much longer.

Good discipline contains a boy and his energy, providing the sense of physical and emotional security he needs in order to learn the larger lessons of self-control and moral behavior. Good discipline is consistent; it provides clear and well-reasoned expectations and firm, compassionate guidance by adults who model the same standards and behavior in their daily interactions with a child and with others. Good discipline engages a child, encourages contact instead of isolation, draws him into discussion instead of sending him away. It involves the boy as consultant. It may be with straightforward questions, such as "What is it you don't understand about this rule or don't agree with?" or "What do you need in order to change this pattern of behavior?"

If good discipline works so well, why don't we all just practice it? Because it's work. It takes a lot more time and effort to spend the hour with your son that he needs than it does to yell at him and then go do your own thing... When our disciplinary style encourages mutual understanding, it helps boys be better boys by leading us to better ways of teaching them.

... it helps to understand three things about the way a boy interprets incoming signals - real and imagined - and why he responds to his life and our lessons they way he does:

1. In boys the motivation for aggression is more "defensive" rather than offensive or predatory.

2. Boys are primed to see the world as a threatening place and to respond to that threat with aggression.

3. Boys often don't know or won't admit what it is that makes them angry.

... a boy will perceive a threat, either real or imagined, and react like a cornered animal. It is aggression triggered by the need for protection or as a reaction to pain.

Once you understand that to be human is to be vulnerable - whether you are a boy or a girl - then you can go on and be brave, confident and productive from a solid foundation.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-26T16:02:00.002-04:00

After a skeleton hands-on activity,
our son is inspired to make his own skeleton.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Be Out There

2009-10-21T23:55:00.005-04:00

Our Nature Lover @ Work

Our son thrives on being outdoors. My 'work' is 'less' when we are outdoors in that our son does not need toys or my constant attention or 'something to do'. When we are outdoors, he is free to play and explore and be one with nature. He really is at peace when he sees anything green. When he was 1, after being in a big city for a week and not having been outdoors very much, he honed in on one patch of green around a struggling tree on a side walk. He just sat there touching and looking at the grass and tree trunk - and suddenly a cranky baby became a very calm one. My husband asked me today, "What would we do if we lived in the city?" I guess if we lived in a big city, we would just hang out in parks a lot!

Why and How Outdoors?

Be Out There™ - the National Wildlife Federation's initiative to inspire families across America to open the door and get outside!

According to the National Wildlife Federation:

Daily unstructured free play improves children’s physical and mental health
Children who play outside are more physically active, more creative, less aggressive and show better concentration
Outdoor experiences and education enhances children’s ability to learn and retain knowledge
Outdoor experiences build a conservation ethic and concern for the natural world.

Charlotte Mason Method of Education - emphasises nature walks and nature studies

Last Child In The Woods - thoughts on the book

Waldkindergartens - fascinating concept of kids attending kindergartens outdoors through the year rain or shine, hot or cold! And the kids reportedly have better immune systems.

Swine Flu Information

2009-10-13T01:43:00.003-04:00

Some articles on What To Do, Why NOT TO Vaccinate and What To Do If Vaccinated:

Dr. Frank Lipman in The Huffington Post - Swine Flu What To Do?

Here are his top 10 recommendations:
1) Optimize your vit D level
2) Get adequate sleep, this is an indispensable requirement for a strong immune system.
3) Get adequate exercise, this keeps you robust.
4) Take actions to lower your stress levels
5) Wash your hands frequently but not excessively
6) Avoid sugar and processed foods as they decrease your immune function dramatically.
7) Eat phytonutrient rich meals (lots of colorful salads and dark greens)
8) Eat lots of garlic, it works as a broad spectrum antibiotic.
9) Take a probiotic daily (look for one with 10-20 billion organisms).
10) Keep a supply of antiviral herbal supplements on hand.
11) Take 1-2 grams of fish oils daily, its beneficial for immune function.
12) Take 2 grams of Vitamin C daily, yes it does help.
13) Stock your home pharmacy with an immune building formula.
14) Keep homeopathic Oscillococcinum on hand

Bill Sardi in LewRockwell.com - 18 Reasons Why You Should NOT Vaccinate Your Children Against The Flu This Season

1. The swine flu is simply another flu. It is not unusually deadly.

2. This is the first time both seasonal and pandemic flu vaccines will be administered. Both seasonal flu and swine flu vaccines will require two inoculations. This is because single inoculations have failed to produce sufficient antibodies. This is an admission that prior flu vaccines were virtually useless. Can you trust them this time?

3. Adjuvants are added to vaccines to boost production of antibodies but may trigger autoimmune reactions. Some adjuvants are mercury (thimerosal), aluminum and squalene. Why would you sign a consent form for your children to be injected with mercury, which is even more brain-toxic than lead?

4. This is the first year mock vaccines have been used to gain FDA approval. The vaccines that have been tested are not the same vaccines your children will be given.

5. Over-vaccination is a common practice now in America. American children are subjected to 29 vaccines by the age of two. Meanwhile, veterinarians have backed off of repeat vaccination in dogs because of observed side effects.

6. Modern medicine has no explanation for autism, despite its continued rise in prevalence. Yet autism is not reported among Amish children who go unvaccinated.

7. Researchers are warning that over-use of the flu vaccine and anti-flu drugs like Tamiflu and Relenza can apply genetic pressure on flu viruses and then they are more likely to mutate into a more deadly strain.

8. Most seasonal influenza A (H1N1) virus strains tested from the United States and other countries are now resistant to Tamiflu (oseltamivir). Tamiflu has become a nearly worthless drug against seasonal flu.

Public health officials are irresponsible in their omission of any ways to strengthen immunity against the flu. No options outside of problematic vaccines and anti-flu drugs are offered, despite the fact there is strong evidence that vitamins C and D activate the immune system and the trace mineral selenium prevents the worst form of the disease.

Russell Blaylock in Mercola.com - What To Do If You Are Forced To Take The Swine Flu Shot

Treatment for Toxic Vaccine Exposure

1. Place a cold compress on the site of the injection immediately after the injection and continue this as often as possible for at least two days. If symptoms of fever, irritability, fatigue or flu-like symptoms reoccur -- continue the cold compresses until they abate. A cold shower or bath will also help.

2. Take fish oils

3. Curcumin, quercetin, ferulic acid and ellagic acid as a mixture -- the first two must be mixed with extravirgin olive in one teaspoon. Take the mix three times a day (500 mg of each)

4. Vitamin E (natural form) 400 IU a day (high in gamma-E)

5. Vitamin C 1000 mg four times a day

6. Astaxanthin 4 mg a day

7. Zinc 20 mg a day for one week then 5 mg a day

8. Avoid all immune stimulating supplements (mushroom extracts, whey protein) except beta-glucan -- it has been shown to reduce inflammation, microglial activation and has a reduced risk of aggravating autoimmunity, while increasing antiviral cellular immunity.

9. Take a multivitamin/mineral daily (one without iron -- Extend Core)

10. Magnesium citrate/malate 500 mg of elemental magnesium two capsules three times a day

11. Vitamin D3:

1. All Children -- 5000 IU a day for two weeks after vaccine then 2000 IU a day thereafter

2. Adults -- 20,000 IU a day after vaccine for two weeks then 10,000 IU a day thereafter

3. Take 500 mg to 1000 mg of calcium citrate a day for adults and 250 mg a day for children under age 12 years.

12. Avoid all mercury-containing seafood

13. Avoid omega-6 oils (corn, safflower, sunflower, soybean, canola and peanut oils)

14. Blenderize parsley and celery and drink 8 ounces twice a day

15. Take Jatoba tea extract (add 20 drops in on cup of tea) one day before the vaccine and the twice a day thereafter..

Dr. Jay Gordon - Swine Flu and Kids at School - High Anxiety and What To Do?

Wash hands, avoid refined sugars, dairy and fried foods, support your child's immunity with Astragalus, Echinacea and Goldenseal, Vitamin C and Bioflavonoids, Elderberry and Probiotics.

Special Update on Mercola.com - thoughts on 60 minutes episode on H1N1 and study showing those who have gotten seasonal influenza vaccine in the past may be at greater risk for getting H1N1 and having complications

Plastic is Everywhere!!!

2009-10-07T02:12:00.005-04:00

Click here for Good Morning America's Report: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Nature Hikes At Home

2009-10-03T22:28:00.007-04:00

Fun: Finding Animal Prints in the Sand

Following Butterflies as they Come to Visit

And now for the gory: Watching a Spider Devour a Butterfly

And Watching Wasps Feast on a Partially Dead Snake

Direct Instruction - why it is very good.

2009-10-02T18:05:00.008-04:00

I had written an essay a few months ago on Play = Learnin g and was surprised that one of this blog's reader was not not keen on the excerpts I had taken out of the book. Dan suggested I look into Direct Instruction, which frankly I was not ready to really understand then because it was the exact opposite of Play=Learning, Unschooling and Child-Directed learning. However, in the past year, I have come to question Unschooling and Child-Directed learning - it seemed to lack something. I have since read up on Classical Education and found that the Charlotte Mason method was what our family was searching for. This past week, I was reading Einstein Never Used Flash Cards when my husband re-introduced the idea of Direct Instruction to me through a book he is currently reading Market Education by Andrew Coulson. I chucked the Einstein book aside to delve into learning more about Direct Instruction. My interest peaked.

Very briefly, Project Follow Through was a federally funded (over $600M), large-scale study (79,000 children in 180 communities) from the late 1960s to the late 1970s to identify effective instructional methods - primarily for disadvantaged children grades K-3. 22 different teaching methods were introduced around the country and their effects on student achievement were measured.

As you can see, the graph shows that Direct Instruction (a method rich in structure and drilling and content) was far more effective than other methods I would have expected to score higher, such as:

Parent Education: Parents of disadvantaged children are taught to teach their own children. Cognitively-Oriented Curriculum: this curriculum encourages children to schedule their own activities. Teaching emphasizes "labeling and explaining causal relationships". Self Directed Literature: Students are exposed to literature relating to their own experiences and interest. Child-directed choices are emphasized, based in part on the assumption that student choice would enhance enjoyment and facilitate learning through each child's individual learning style.

So all these progressive methods scored poorly... So what exactly is Direct Instruction?
Direct Instruction (DI) is a model for teaching that emphasizes well-developed and carefully planned lessons designed around small learning increments and clearly defined and prescribed teaching tasks. It is based on the theory that clear instruction eliminating misinterpretations can greatly improve and accelerate learning.

Some more startling results of Direct Instruction taken from Market Education:

The most structure, most skill-oriented approach of the lot, Distar (or Direct Instruction) systematically broke new topics down into understandable parts, and then had students practice those component skills, eventually putting them back together to master the complete task. It not only placed first in teaching basic skills as a whole, but came out first in all four subcategories (reading, arithmetic, spelling and language) individually. Students taught by Direct Instruction placed a close second in advanced conceptual skills, and even scored highest on tests of self-esteem and responsibility toward their work.
To put these accomplishments in perspective, poor/disadvantaged students who had gone through several years of Direct Instruction performed at the national average of all students. This is not particularly remarkable unless you realize that students from this demographic group normally performed at the 20th percentile, which is to say, worse than 80% of their peers around the country. Non-disadvantaged children in the program performed even better, and the success of Distar was just as evident with non-native English speakers as with native English speakers. What's more, the benefits that accrued to students from participation in the program continued even after they had returned to regular classrooms. 2, 3 and even 6 years after they had left the Distar Follow Through program, disadvantaged former-participants still performed at a level above the control group of disadvantaged students who had not participated in Follow Through.

While basic skills approaches in general, and Direct Instruction in particular, were coming out at the top of the heap in raising student performance, progressive methods that allowed children to guide their own learning and that focused on self-esteem or higher-order thinking skills received an embarrassing wake-up call. Not only did almost all of these methods fail to improve student performance, they actually caused it to drop relative to the performance of students not participating in Follow Through. Moreover - and this is where the embarrassment comes in - their failure was not restricted to children's academic skills, but extended into the very areas of self-esteem, conceptual skills, and attitude toward learning that they were intended to foster.

More Resources:

Direct Instruction - Wikipedia
National Institute for Direct Instruction
SRA Pre-K to 12 Programmes - there are free sample lessons on the website, here is a video, and here are more materials
The Dirty Little Secret From Biggest Education Study Ever

No to Universal Preschool

2009-09-21T13:33:00.006-04:00

A trip to NYC for our country bumpkin homeschooled preschooler

I get the Home Education Magazine and my husband gets the academic Education Next. It amazes me how often 'alternative' approaches are up to date with current research. This month, both magazines discuss the negative aspects of universal preschool. Take a look:

Home Education Magazine's article No Thanks to Federal Zero to Five Programs
Education Next's Article The Preschool Picture

Fox News is NOT news

2009-09-21T13:25:00.004-04:00

We recently watched Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism. We'll never watch any kind of news the same way again... particularly anything owned by Rupert Murdoch!

Leaves are already changing!

2009-09-07T00:33:00.003-04:00

Healing the New Childhood Epidemics

2009-09-07T00:32:00.004-04:00

Autism can be reversed. ADHD can be reversed. Asthma can be reversed. Allergies can be reversed. Did I read that correctly? Yes I did.

And after reading Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma and Allergies I am more convinced that we are doing the right thing by making sure we are exposed to the least amount of toxins as possible, by eating organic and more raw produce, by drinking our green smoothies with vegetables and green powder - and even delaying potty training for our 2 year old who will not poop for days without a diaper.

In his book, Kenneth Bock, MD explains how he has reversed autism, ADHD, asthma and allergies in his patients.

Some excerpts:

In Paul's case, as in those of many autistic kids, one of the primary assaults on his system was probably from vaccinations that contained high levels of toxic mercury. This assault appeared to have harmed his brain and the rest of his body... Autism is still classified as strictly a psychiatric disorder, but that's a diagnostic error. It certainly doesn't start from emotional problems. It starts from physical harm to the brain. Therefore, it's actually a neurological disorder. More specifically, it's a neurotoxic disorder, because it's caused primarily by the presence of destructive elements that injure the brain:
- toxic chemicals
- viruses
- incomplete proteins
- inflammation
- immune cells that attack the brain

How It Happened
... the cause of autism is not primarily genetic, but is a complex combination of genetics and environment... Genetics alone don't cause epidemics... Epidemics occur when genetic vulnerabilities are assaulted by environmental changes-introductions of a new virus, a new bacteria, or a new toxin.

Over the past two decades, autism has increased 1500%, ADHD 400%, asthma 300% (with asthma deaths increasing by 56%) and allergies 400%. (Click here for more information.)

The Four Catastrophic Changes created a veritable perfect storm of physical and neurological insult, which struck hardest at our society's most vulnerable members: our children.
1. toxins proliferated
2. nutrition deteriorated
3. vaccinations increased
4. ability to detoxify dwindled

The Healing Program creates recoveries by:
- eliminating further exposure to toxins
- flushing existing toxins out of the system, primarily by detoxification, and by restoring the miracle of methylation
- healing the damage that the toxins have triggered
- restoring proper function of the nervous system, the immune system, and the gastrointestinal system

The Healing Program is:
1. Nutritional Therapy: whole organic foods, avoid allergenic foods, avoid yeast proliferating foods, carbohydrates limited, avoid gluten and casein
2. Supplemental Therapy: multivitamins, anti oxidants, fatty acids, probiotics, etc.
3. Detoxification
4. Medication

Allergies are among the most powerful and destructive of all the interwoven forces that compose the new childhood epidemics.
- Allergies contribute immeasurably to the epidemics of autism, ADHD, and asthma.
- Allergies are an epidemic in their own right. Food allergies have increased by approximately 700% in just the last 10 years.

The vast majority of all children with autism, ADHD, and asthma have serious allergies.

Disorders associated with allergies: ADHD, arthritis, asthma, candida problems, chronic ear infections, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic pain, cognitive and mood disorders, diabetes, digestive disorders, eating disorders, eczema, acne, and hives, fibromyalgia, hay fever, headaches, hypoglycemia, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, obesity and sinusitis.

The 4-A epidemics have not occurred in isolation. The other health issues that are most closely associated with the 4-A epidemics, and that are most threatening and disruptive, are: 1. childhood cancers (toxins most frequently linked to the rising incidence of these cancers are those found in pesticides and industrial chemicals), 2. diabetes (type 1 linked to aluminium in vaccinations), 3. obesity and 4. learning disabilities. For the most part, these problems revolve around the same essential issues as the 4-A disorders: toxicity, nutritional deficiencies, immune dysfunction, metabolic imbalance, and failure to adequately detoxify.

What to Look for in Your Children: signs of allergies
- congestion
- gastrointestinal problems
- watery, glassy eyes
- perspiration
- ear infections
- dizziness
- headaches
- eczema
- swelling
- coughing
- muscle aches
- cognitive problems
- emotional problems
- lethargy
- insomnia
- excess salivation
- negative behavioral symptoms

Most Reactive Foods
1. wheat
2. dairy
3. eggs
4. peanuts
5. corn
6. soy
7. chocolate
8. yeast
9. various tree nuts
10. citrus
11. tomatoes
12. aspartame and MSG
13. vinegar
14. shellfish (more common in adults than children)
15. bacon and other pork
16. cinnamon
17. mustard
18. bananas
19. grapes and raisins
20. coconut
21. onions
22. berries (esp strawberries)
23. peas
24. celery
25. spices (inc turmeric, cloves, curry)
26. kidney beans
27. melon
28. pineapple
29. mushrooms
30. peppers
31. plums
32. barley
33. beef
34. chicken

Generally Nonreactive Foods: rice, pears, lamb, kale, salmon, halibut, sole, trout, turkey, olives, olive oil, cabbage, tapioca, carrots, beets, cauliflower, squash, cranberries, apricots, broccoli, rabbit, sweet potatoes.

Food Additives to Avoid: nitrites and nitrates, sulfites, sorbic acid, dyes, parabens, benzoic acid, MSG, EDTA, aspartame, propyl gallate, alginate and bromates.

Common Reactive Chemicals that can Exacerbate Food Reactions:
- petrochemicals (car exhaust, gas/oil furnace)
- formaldehyde ( new clothing, carpet, paint, car, homes, hair gel, wood smoke)
- chlorine
- phenol (perfumes, colognes, newspapers, glue, wood smoke)
- ethanol (car exhaust, perfume, household cleaners, wood smoke)
- flouride
- benzyl alcohol (solvents, perfume, artificial flavor)
- glycerin (makeup, soap, lotion, furniture polish)

Did You Know?

2009-08-25T23:55:00.005-04:00

As a history teacher, my husband once offered to teach a course on China, India and Brazil in a private school. The other teachers and administration asked him WHY? WHAT FOR? That's not important. Needless to say, for this and many other reasons, he does not teach there anymore.

Education is very important. Did You Know?

Preschool Homeschool Resources

2009-08-22T11:16:00.009-04:00

We recently saw an article on homeschooling stats and it impressed us that:
1. homeschoolers scored 37 percentile points above public school students on standardized achievement tests
2. homeschooled boys (87th percentile) and girls (88th percentile) scored equally well
3. the income level of parents did not appreciably affect the results (household income under $35,000: 85th percentile - household income over $70,000: 89th percentile)
4. even children whose parents did not have college degrees scored in the 83rd percentile, children whose parents both had college degrees scored in the 90th percentile.

Our little Merlin on his way to storytime

I guess an article like that really inspires us to homeschool. And we do tell everyone we homeschool our 2 1/2 year old son. Homeschool a toddler? Yes and it's fun. What we really do all day is 'play' together, make exploring fun and this is really how our son learns. And after researching on different homeschool styles, we discovered that we have naturally practiced the Charlotte Mason method: lots of reading, short lessons and lots of free time outdoors. Here's a list of what our son enjoys:

Curriculum:

Core Knowledge Preschool Book and Activity Books 1 and 2 - our son loves most of the activities, some of it we tweak

We supplement with:

Art:

Art Notebook - he's had one since he was 1 year old and it is great to see how his drawings have changed

Colouring Pages of Artist's Work - look at artist's paintings and colour a similar one

In the Shower - we place shaving foam and a few drops of different food colouring in ice trays and our son goes to town on the shower doors

To try: Princeton On Line and Storyboard and Art

Trips to museums - we put up the artist's work for a while and have our son do his own version, we also go museums just for fun

Language:

We love our local library and our librarians! They work with us and send us 30 appropriate books every week.

Booklists - there are so many around but we've used The New York Times Parent's Guide to the Best Books for Your Children, better yet was Some of My Best Friends are Book s, we discovered the Carl books on the Early Reading List on Simply Charlotte Mason which are wonderful books - mostly illustrations that help children narrate their own story, we also use the Ambleside Lis t

Homemade ABC books - doesn't it make sense that they will learn quicker with what is most familiar?

TAG books - I used to be against anything electronic, but he can preoccupy himself in 'reading' and learning words for half an hour or more. There are also nice National Geographic booklets with animal sounds, characteristics and geography mini-lessons. He learned to read the word 'but' before he was 2 1/2 - just because he thought it was really funny.

Mandarin:

Big Bird in China - more a geography introduction but gets kids interested in China and Chinese

Chinese Printables from Hong Kong International School - songs, rhymes, numbers

Follow Jade - similar to the Mei Mei videos below, numbers, greetings, etc.

Language Co-op - we have started our own. We started out with a teacher but the kids were not enthusiastic about it. We do need a proper PK Mandarin teacher but till we find one, we now just meet weekly, with a lesson plan and parents contribute fun games. The kids have learned more vocabulary than when we had a teacher. We all supplement with videos, website help and fun revision with parents at home. Our goal? Watch this. I have recently discovered My First Chinese Words and my son loves it! Together with the Mei Mei videos, it is pretty much a complete Mandarin curriculum!!!

Mei Mei videos - the Dance and Learn Video #4 is especially a hit and our son memorised most of the songs before we learned Mandarin

Ni Hao Books - if you don't have time to make your own books

Personalised Mandarin Word Books - we make our own books with our own personal pictures - our son learns much quicker this way. This has worked much quicker and is much more fun than the books we bought off the web.

Math:

Sesame Street - I used to be against watching TV, but am more relaxed now with videos , computer and youtube. It's amazing how much they learn by watching!

Miscellaneous Activities:

Enchanted Learning - a lot of different printables

Montessori Ideas:

New Child Montessori Curriculum - we have used this before. There is a lot of information here from book lists to art/geography/language projects.

Multi-lingual:

Language Guide - this is GREAT even for toddlers who can move a mouse around! They have pictures of colours for example and when the mouse goes over a colour, a voice tells you the word in the foreign language and the word comes up on the screen.

Early Advantage - Muzzy Stories in DVDs and software for Mandarin, Spanish, French, English, German and Italian

Music Appreciation:

The Children's Group - our son recently discovered The Magic Flute and he has listened to the whole CD everyday or twice a day for the past week or so. We have made our own character books: left side of the page is an image of a character and on the right side our son's own drawing of the character or his picture rendition of the aria.

Look also at the right hand column for more music articles.

Music Together - what a great introduction to music for kids!

Play = Learning: lots of free time to learn by himself

Blocks
Cars
Costumes
Games invented by family are fun!
Pretend/Role Play
Stuffed Animals
Trains

Outdoors:

Daily play outdoors: water, sand, nature...
Our Waldkindergarten solution: nature walks once a week.

Science:

Mudpies to Magnets - what's there not to love about this book. Easy homemade and fun experiments. They suggest ages for which to conduct the experiments, but our son loves most of them.

Zoo - lots of zoos have preschool programmes - check your local one out! Or just a day at the zoo is fascinating.

Charlotte Mason Method

2009-08-11T15:25:00.016-04:00

Daddy: I have to put down some iron with the spreader.
Son: YEAH! I want to help! That's my most favourite thing to do!!! Ummm... Daddy, what's a spreader?

Because our family time is so important to us, because unschooling (we know our son is intrinsically motivated to learn), classical education (we would like to take the opportunity to introduce him to subjects and make sure he is comfortable with them sooner rather than later), Montessori (the educational toys!) and Waldkindergarten (being outdoors is so important for our well-being) all intrigue us, we have found all these aspects are important parts of the Charlotte Mason method of education. Although we are not religious, we love the method of using living books (not textbooks or 'dumbed down' literature) to learn, narration (can be creative painting/ drawing/ sculpting/ play-acting/ etc) as the process of evaluating what was learned or read, short lessons only 10-15 minutes per subject in the early years (increases as child matures), nature walks once a week, daily walks for fun and fresh air, child's own nature notebook, personal journal, and Book of the Centuries (child's own time line of history), art and music appreciation (i.e. study 1 painting/week, 6 paintings/artist), and an importance of free time.

Some websites that have been really helpful in our research and development:

Ambleside Online - A free homeschool curriculum designed to be as close as possible to the curriculum that Charlotte Mason used in her own private and correspondence schools. THE BEST Charlotte Mason site I have found with lots of lists, links and information for FREE.

Are Charlotte Mason methods incompatible with classical education?

Charlotte Mason in a Nutshell

Color Me Masterpiece - we found this on Ambleside Online. We love it FREE art masterpieces in colouring pages. A great way to introduce art history and appreciation!

Heartland - lots of articles on Charlotte Mason

Is Charlotte Mason Unschooling?

Living Books Curriculum - a complete packages homeschool curriculum. You can view their reading lists per grade for free.

Preschool Curriculum

Secular Charlotte Mason - yes, SECULAR CM with so many links too

Simply Charlotte Mason - This site is dedicated to helping you homeschool your children using the Charlotte Mason method and wonderful philosophy of education.

Summaries of Charlotte Mason's Methods

The 20 Principles of the Charlotte Mason Method

What They Say

2009-08-11T14:45:00.003-04:00

Our Homeschool Preschool Coop on Field Day

There is an article in the Jan/February 2008 magazine called "What They Say". The author interviewed homeschooled kids and a few of their comments are very telling of the homeschool experience. Here are some of their comments we would like to keep in mind as we homeschool our son:

- I now in retrospect wish I had had a bit more interaction with the school kids my age as I find myself feeling unsure and somewhat untrusting of 'school' kids. It is the only social strata I really feel uncomfortable around.

- Jason, who is in medical school, wishes he had been given more structured courses that ended with tests, required to write more papers and asked to make more public presentations. He said he would have hated it at the time, but he would have been better prepared for college. Tess wrote that she was afraid of academic settings and would have liked more test-taking opportunities to decrease that fear.

- Because homeschoolers often don't have markers such as test scores or moving from grade to grade, some students feel they have no standards to evaluate themselves... one of the reasons they want to go to school is to see if they measure up.