Wednesday, November 21, 2007

To Be Wife and Mother

I always wanted to make people happy.

I was never a comedian like my cousin Bianca. So I did what I loved. I tried performing on stage but I wasn't professional material. I tried the art world, but being in an office bored me. I tried standing 8 hours a day and hauling 25 pounds of flour as a line and prep cook and eventually as an independent personal chef and caterer. I then gave workshops on nutrition. Did I make people happy? I don't really know if one could call it 'happy'. I don't know if I made any difference in people's lives doing what I liked doing. But, as a wife and as a mother, I can make my husband smile and my son laugh. They are happy. I feel I can make my home our little heaven. This makes me happy. This makes me really happy.

For a woman these days, it is harder and harder to make the choice to be a homemaker. My father, for one, seems disappointed that his educated daughter has no 'ambition'. What would I talk to people about? How would I expand my mind? Why would I want to just be that? Will I just amount to that? Yes, in fact, I do have an ambition. I want to be a great success in one thing. I can't stand the thought of being mediocre at a 'career' and a just an OK wife and mother. Some women are super women and can do it all. I admire them. I've tried part-time work and even then I got too stressed out. Being my husband's wife and my son's 'mama' is the job I most love to do and what I know I will be best being. What better job is there than one with which I can't wait to wake up every morning to do what I love to do? What better job is there than one where two people can't wait to wake up to see you? As for expanding my mind, as my mother says, if you seek excellence in just one thing, there will be many opportunities to grow. So, dad, this is where I seek excellence in my life. There is no better start than seeking excellence where my heart is: I am making two wonderful people happy and I am happy. Life cannot get any better than this.



  1. I just have to say thank you. your entry on being a wife and mother just made me so emotional b/c I have been feeling the exact same way. i have been struggling a bit with being a stay at home mom. I love being with [my daughter] all day everyday I mean like you said what could be better than making 2 people happy for your job and like my sister says its the hardest job you will love so much but of course I also have this feeling like I'm supposed to be planning when I will go back to work full time but I'm not sure if I want to. I do [some work] that is great both financially and mentally I also just love the people they are like family. But I do get lonely and feel a bit isolated not being close to friends or do you deal with that? Basically just thank you for saying it so beautifully its almost as if now I feel better b/c I'm not alone :)

  2. What a great resource!... I love your posting about being a wife and mother. I worked crazy hours at a non-profit for 5 years, which I loved, but it made me a terrible partner (tired, grouchy, and stressed out!). After I got married, I went part-time so I could spend more time w/ my husband and work on the farm. I'm planning on being a full-time mom after the baby is born, but I'm the only one of my group of friends doing that, so I have definitely felt uneasy about the decision. It was great to hear that you've found personal and intellectual fulfilment as a wife and mom.