Monday, February 06, 2017

10 Tips on How and Why We Need to Schedule in Homeschool Fun

 Homeschooling was SO MUCH FUN, What Happened?


Homeschooling was really fun when my son was younger. I loved making homemade educational toys, reading countless books together, listening to music, singing, dancing, arts and crafts. It felt like a playdate E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y. Well, at least that is how I remember it.

Then Reality Hits


If your reason to homeschool, like ours, is for academic reasons, then as the years go by, the responsibility for your child’s education starts to bear down more heavily on your shoulders. There is nothing like homeschooling to bring out my A-type personality. The constant work of homeschooling: researching, preparing, planning, scheduling, meeting deadlines, and so on can be so overwhelming and tiring because I had a desire to stay on top of everything all the time.

Homeschooling Becomes a Chore



The pressures I placed on my homeschool mama’s shoulders were tremendous and my role as homeschool “teacher” dominated my role as loving, gentle and fun mama. Yes, even when I was trying to "be aware" and "mindful." Homeschooling became truly exhausting for two years and  it just wasn’t fun anymore. Worst of all, being with my child was not enjoyable and our relationship suffered. What I really struggled with were the power struggles, negotiations, personality clashes, disciplining, and days when things just didn’t work out. I would take these breakdowns in my homeschool system personally and the day would continue to deteriorate. I wasn’t able to STOP, breathe, reassess the situation, and simply move on.

It’s Time to Re-Examine Your Homeschool


We looked into sending our son to public school. He took the required tests for what seemed like a week. We returned home after the last conference with administration aghast that public school just wasn’t the right fit. Back at home, I sat down and decided to re-examine what I was doing wrong and how we could proceed.

Homeschooling Can Continue to be Fun: 


Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going.
- Jim Rohn -

Work at Learning to Play and Other Tips

“... we must get serious about taking ourselves lightly.
We must work at learning to play.”
- Julia Cameron -

In time, I discovered that homeschooling doesn’t have to be such a chore. In fact, homeschooling can continue to be fun as the child grows up. Just PLAN for FUN. And remember:
Who you’re becoming is far more important than what you’re doing.
And yet, it is what you’re doing that is determining who you’re becoming.
- Hal Elrod -

 Tips:

  1. Internalize that you don’t have to be perfect all the time. Relax and be patient.
  2. Think long term, not short term. You want your child to ENJOY the process, not learn to HATE it.
  3. Trust your child with information. Keep your priorities straight TOGETHER. Discuss your fears together. Find a solution together. A parent cannot make a homeschool day better without help from the most important component of any education system: the child.
  4. Focus on your relationship with your child - not the deadlines, not the schedules, not the small stuff. If your relationship is great, then homeschooling will be a breeze because your child is more receptive to you. If there is something over your child’s head and he/she is unhappy, then homeschool work will simply not get done well. 
  5. Communicate and listen to your child’s wants and needs. What would he like to read? What would he like to learn? What would he like to do? Trust your child's vision, learning style, and goals. By allowing them a voice in their own education, you are creating a learning environment that supports self-motivation.
  6. Schedule in and PLAN FOR FUN daily! You plan for everything else, why not for fun too? Make time for self-care, make time for your kids to have fun, make time to have fun together with your kids, make time for field trips, make time for your kid’s child-led projects, but most importantly, make time for everyone to do NOTHING. This scheduling in of fun and breathing space allows for your homeschool day to be more balanced.
  7. Take a break to re-charge in nature daily. Schedule in time to enjoy the outdoors everyday. At least 15 to 30 minutes of time in the sun and in nature is time well spent. 
  8. Be flexible. If the schedule you planned doesn’t work, chuck it and plan for tomorrow. Or, make up for it another day. Or, reassess and change it up. Being flexible allows you to discover something that works for your family. Keep honing the structure of your day to suit you and your child. 
  9. See your children as you would have them be instead of as they are. Use affirmations with your child to change beliefs, attitudes, or habits to make homeschooling more successful. Instead of berating him throughout the day for undesirable behaviour, use positive affirmations to inspire and encourage positive changes. We write these affirmations down in a journal we share together and we start each homeschool day by reciting these out-loud. Update these affirmations when needed.  
  10. If all else fails, you might be the problem. Are you feeling impatient or harried? Why? Are you demanding too much or controlling the situation? Why? Are you sick and tired of explaining something that your child is not getting? Then figure out a way to explain it better. It’s not your child’s fault he’s not getting it if you haven’t explained it well enough. Have you listened to your child’s wants and needs today? Most of the time, the reason our day isn’t going well is because of some pre-determined, and maybe even unrealistic, plans in my own head.
All that being said, simply understand that there will be days challenged by power struggles, negotiations, personality clashes, disciplining, and days when things just didn’t work out. Children need to learn that they must sometimes do homeschool work they don’t want to do. It may take time for them to learn how to do this. That’s ok. Don’t take these little failures personally. STOP, breathe, read the tips above from 1 to 10,  apologize when needed, make small changes, and simply move on. Tomorrow will be better.
An extraordinary life is all about daily,
continuous improvements in the areas that matter most.
- Robin Sharma -

I am participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum February 2017 Blog Hop: When Homeschooling Your Gifted Child Becomes a Drag: My Best Tips. Check out the other amazing GHF bloggers!

Monday, February 22, 2016

10 Things to Understand and (maybe even eventually) Love about Homeschooling a Gifted Kid

I have been homeschooling for more than a handful of years now and have had many ups and downs. When there are downs, they are mostly because I have difficulty interacting with my son and prefer to control the flow of our homeschool day. When there are ups, they are because I have learned to understand the needs and wants of my child. 



Here are the 10 things that I have learned to understand and love even as they continue to challenge me:

1. There will be major power struggles. When you learn to give up some control and allow your child to have more, your days will be so much easier.

2. Asynchronicity will drive you crazy. You treat him according to his intellectual level and forget he’s at different levels in other areas.

3. Be ready for overexcitabilities to rule the day. Whatever OE your child has, welcome these sensitivities to your homeschool day. Imaginational OE through role playing, pretend play, and creating video clips, for example, add a much loved dimension to my son’s homeschool day.

4. Throw plans and schedules out the door. When the kid loves it or gets it, you will just fly through curriculum. If not, you’ll just have to sell that book or put it aside for now.

5. Prepared to be amazed by your child’s divergent mind. You thought you were an out-of-the-box thinker? Well, your child will trump you in ways you never expected.

6. Your child's need for independent ways will boggle your mind. It is a force that is exerted many times during the day. Allow them to learn their own way. You will be surprised how quickly they can do it on their own, and even better than if you demanded a rigid learning process.

7. Be surprised by your child’s intense curiosity and learning capacity. The amount of books borrowed from the library, the amount of projects completed, the amount of obsessions, the endless questions… will be astounding.

8. Forget about being the “teacher.” You are as much a student in this learning environment as they are.

9. Your gifted kid will keep you on your toes. For one, they will copy your bad habits faster than you admit to having them. You will learn more about yourself everyday: whether you like it or not.

10. The feelings you will have as a parent and homeschool teacher of a gifted kid will range from bursts of pride, happiness and understanding to times of questioning, defeat and trial.


Big hugs to you. Know that you are not alone. Know that there are others going through the exact same thing. Join our daily conversations at GHF!



I am participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum February 2016 Blog Hop: Loving the Unexpected Gifts of Giftedness. Check out the other amazing GHF bloggers!

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Micro-Schools by Jade Rivera

In her new book Micro-Schools: Creating Personalized Learning on a Budget, you will get to know Jade Rivera: a progressive parent's dream in an educator and a coach. She has experience, expertise, intelligence, emotional connection, mindfulness, and best of all, she makes sure that children come first. 



I read Jade's book last night. As a homeschool mama and founder/organizer of a local gifted homeschool support group and coop, the topic of micro-schools is very important to me. It is one that I have tried to create on my own with my small community of dedicated homeschool mamas for a couple of years. It has not always been easy and I have only started to find what really works for us this past year.  If I had read Jade's book a few years ago, I would have gained years of experience in an hour. What a time saver!

I love that Jade shares her experiences (both good and bad) and even includes an "how-to" section. Here are some highlights of the book that speak to me of what Jade stands for:
"When it comes down to it, the programs are not about the lessons, but about the community and giving children the chance to learn on their own terms."
"Every accommodation you make, every chance to share power with a kid, will serve to enhance all of your lives."
"Moreover, given that many gifted children have highly developed needs for autonomy and control, the creation of a product designed solely to demonstrate learning can feel like a violation, especially if the product has specific requirements. They know what they know and see little need for demonstrating mastery for something as superficial as a grade or gold star. They crave individualized interaction with meaningful feedback that values their efforts and what they have created."
"Talk with your students— a lot— about what they like and do not like about learning. Ask them what worked for them in their previous placements and what failed. Do they see a difference between education and learning? Make this a collaborative process."
"Do not be tempted to hide your micro-school venture to avoid disapproving looks and ignorant comments. Get out there, loud and proud. Your future students need this. By taking a stand and creating the learning environment you know these children need, you could inspire many others to learn about gifted and twice-exceptional children."
"Along with monthly outings I suggest having a reoccurring presentation day. One morning a month or every other month ask the children to give a five- to 10-minute presentation on their individual projects or something they are working on outside of school. Parents and extended family should be invited to attend. Turn these days into little celebrations by bringing in treats and giving each student a small gift, like fun erasers or stickers with a card that lets them know how proud of them you are. I do not grade my students, so presentation day gives my students something tangible to work towards and a chance to show to their families what they have accomplished. Presentation day meets the need for accountability with much more integrity than a grade."

Are you a parent interested in alternative ways to educate your gifted children? Are you a homeschool parent to a gifted kid? Read this book! You will not only learn about the academic environment best for gifted kids, but also how to be emotionally connected with them. You will not only learn how to create a micro-school, but also how to make one that functions well. After reading the book, you may want to contact Jade directly. And you can! Here is her website and listing of services that she offers: http://www.jadeannrivera.com/services/ 

When I first 'met' Jade, I was in awe of her awareness and passion for her work. And for the past few years, it has been my pleasure getting to know her as a friend and her work with gifted kids as Gifted Homeschoolers Forum colleagues.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Mama in the Kitchen Soap Shop: 100% Olive Oil Castile Soaps

When I was younger, my parents didn't know that I suffered from hand eczema. It wasn't that bad after all: it was just very rough all over. But I was embarrassed to hold anyone's hand. My superstitious Chinese grandmother would tell me, "This is not good. Your hands are too rough. You better put a lot of lotion on your hands. Rough hands is a sign that you'll end up working hard all your life!" You bet I slathered on Neutrogena very thickly but to no avail. Different balms and moisturizers did nothing to improve the condition. 

After childbirth, my hand eczema worsened. In addition to rough hands, I would get painful fissures: deep paper-like cuts all over my hands that made it very painful to wash my hands or even use my hands. In search of a solution to hand eczema, I discovered 100% olive oil Castile Soaps and how much my hands love them. We now use only 100% olive oil Castile Soaps at home. My family loves them and my hands are now smooth and soft like I've never had them before. Does that mean I won't have to work so hard in my life anymore? Tsk. Tsk.

Last year, I decided to make my own soap with the simplest and purest ingredients.

This year, I decided to open up shop and share my creations with everyone. 

a licensed manufacturer and retailer of soaps!


HANDCRAFTED IN SMALL BATCHES

My soaps are handmade in small batches to ensure quality. They are cured for a couple of months to ensure gentleness.

NATURAL and CLEAN

Simplicity and purity are key: the less ingredients, the better.
No: Preservatives, Parabens, SLS, SLES, Unnatural Colours, Palm Oil.
Non-toxic and gentle on the environment.

MILD SCENTS

If any of my soaps are scented, the smell is mild and not overpowering. I choose to use quality essential oils over fragrance oils when economical. When I do use fragrance oils, they are without parabens. Unlike strong perfume, my soaps do not give me a headache when I smell them.

VEGAN and VEGETARIAN SOAPS

No animal fats used.
Check it out!

Monday, November 16, 2015

Always Second Guessing Myself

I second guess myself most of the time. Am I doing a good job as a mother? Am I doing a good job as his homeschool teacher? Was that the right thing to do the other day? Why did I just do that? Why? 



Second guessing myself can make me feel bad, but I prefer to do it than not. As a mother, second guessing allows me improve myself, my son, and my relationship with my son. 

As a homeschool Mama, I want to do a good job. But some days are challenging and intense. I want to know what my options are. I want to know what resources are available for my son out there. I want to ask questions like: am I offering him the best education I can at home? If not, where can I get it? And as I write this, I am sitting at the local public school library waiting for my son to take the MAPS test. I want to see if public school is a possibility. What can they offer him?

As I am ready to publish this, my son has finished taking the MAPS and OLSATs. I know I have been doing a good job with his academics at home.  And yet, there are so many resources our local public school can offer him too. Now to decide what to do.

Do you frequently second guess yourself too? I would love to hear about it!


I am participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum October 2015 Blog Hop: The Highs and Lows of Gifted Parenting. Check out the other amazing GHF bloggers!

Monday, October 19, 2015

Does Testing Validate a Parent's Gifted Assessment?

Through my own observations, I have determined that my son is an asynchronous learner. What's more, I have been blogging about our gifted homeschool for more than a handful of years. Sometimes, I questioned myself and the assessments I, subjectively or objectively, made of my own son. Sometimes, I have felt like a poser.

GEEK material: my son battled against teens and adults and won third place at the Barnes and Nobles Doctor Who Trivia Night this year. 

Every parent believes their child is amazing and incredible, right? Right.

This year, I decided that it was time for a professional cognitive assessment. I wanted more information. I wanted to learn more about my son's weaknesses and strengths. I wanted to avail of more appropriate resources as my elementary aged kid progresses more rapidly into middle school academics. Our tester seemed to think he did really well on the test, but my son confessed to me that he had a really difficult time. His response made me all the more anxious about his results. What I learned after two weeks of anticipation was surprising: not only was my son gifted, but I clearly underestimated his level of giftedness.


Every parent believes their child is more amazing and incredible than they are, right? Wrong. I totally misjudged my son's level of giftedness.

Naturally, my son wanted to know his results. He has heard a little about his scores from a few professionals and we made him part of the application process to a few gifted programs, but he does not know exactly what that means and what his exact scores are. At home, we downplay the results of the test. Instead, we tell him how happy we are with his scores. We also tell him that the test informs us of his weakness areas and gives us the opportunity to better them. We tell him that there is more to him than his IQ score: we also need to be kind, honest, responsible, loyal, generous, disciplined, hard-working, humane, creative, to have a sense of humor, to learn how to work and get along with others, and more.

My son recording for his vlog at an aquarium.
Would I have my son tested if I had to do it over again? Yes. I learned a lot more about him than I thought I would.

Is testing so important? No, I don't think so, but if you want more detailed information about your child, then I would recommend it. As his home educator, I believe learning about his weaknesses gives me information about what we need to work on. Likewise, his strengths gives me insight about how his mind works.

Do I now feel validated as a GHF blogger? Yes. But the more I seem to know about my son and his giftedness, the less I seem comfortable about blogging about it.

Does my son understand his giftedness? It's a work in progress, but I want to say that he didn't need a test to understand himself better. With our help, he works on it everyday.


I am participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum October 2015 Blog Hop: Discovering the Depth and Breadth of Giftedness. Check out the other amazing GHF bloggers!

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Top FREE 7 Tips to Parenting and Homeschooling an Asynchronous, Self-Directed Child on a Shoestring

These are SEVEN tips our family has found invaluable to our homeschool lives. Except for internet at home which we pay for, the rest of these things on our list can be available for FREE. 



1. Library. Without our library, we calculated that we would spend around $1,000/month on various media alone.
    • free books and audio books 
    • free stuff on Kindle too
    • free movies on Hoopla
    • free music on Freegal
    • free video games
    • free space to hang out
    • free resources and meet ups
2. Internet. Home to Google, YouTube, Online Presence, Networking, and Social Media.
    • Google:
      • research on the spot
      • free visual images 
      • endless online resources
      • create tabs for your child's favorite spots on the internet 
    • YouTube:
      • free videos on demand
      • subscribe to educational channels
    • Online Presence:
      • depending on your family, you may want to have an online presence
      • DIY.org for kids who love tinkering
      • my son loves to blog and is currently most excited about vlogging
      • my son also receives FREE books in exchange for honest video book reviews 

    • Network and Social Media:
      • join groups that help you and your child
      • follow organisations to learn about recent studies and news on parenting and education issues
      • my favorite is GHF, of course. Disclaimer: I volunteer over there because I love the organisation so much. Did you know we reach over 700,000 individuals a month?
3. Local Community Resources. Many programs are free to homeschoolers! Many have homeschool days.

Our FREE Police and K9 field trip.
That's a Cayote about 5-10 feet away from us at the Savannah River Ecology Laboratory. We saw and/or touched many animals on a FREE 4 hour field trip.
    • check out your local outreach programs. If they go to public schools for free, they will offer their services to homeschool groups too. We've had field trips to the Police and K9 teams, Fire Station, Forensics Lab, and more. Want to meet wild animals up close in personal? This doesn't mean just the zoo, you can visit local ecology labs or pet shelters.
    • museums. If the entrance fee is not free, then programs may be free or fairly priced ($5/kid for 3 hour programs where I live).
    • theatre. If your kid is the theatrical type, let him/her audition for a role. If you get it, the theatre education is FREE and priceless.
A Pizza Restaurant Field Trip.
    • restaurants. Check out their kitchen, operations, and dine in for cheap (our field trip above was $5/kid to make your own pizza and eat it with a drink too). 
    • the list is endless. 

4. Homeschool Coop. If there isn't one you like, start one. While many coops require fees, I started a FREE project based homeschool coop. The beauty of a PBH coop for asynchronous learners is the creation of a passion-based community of kids:

    • yup... you can create one for FREE
      • meet at a park
      • meet at a church that requires only a donation
      • make sure families ALL contribute to the existence and maintenance of the coop

    • kids in a Project Based Homeschool classes do not have to be at the same level of learning
      • multi-ages are welcome
      • individualized topics are allowed
      • sharing with peers creates deep dialogue and sparks interests
      • less teaching required from parents and more active learning from students
      • weeding those who don't fit in the group is a very quick process: some families prefer instruction and rote learning
      • our popular classes/events have been: LEGO, DIY, Debate, TEDEd, Project Fairs

5. Clubs. Depending on your child's interest, join one or start one.

My son wanted to start a Pokemon Club. So we did. Who knew it would be so popular?
    • most are free 
    • your kid will want to join 
    • their interest will grow in ways you don't anticipate
    • you will watch in amazement how your kid interacts with others who have the same interests
6. Park Days with other families. Organize one near you.
    • meet at a park, NOT your house (less clean up for you that way)
    • your child can meet friends 
    • your child can experience new situations in a safe and understanding environment
    • parents can create a vibrant community for their families
7. Free Services from organisations like the Davidson Young Scholars. HG/PG tested kids are accepted. While many gifted programs require fees, DYS services are FREE:
    • academic support and educational advocacy
    • talent development, college planning and early college
    • child and adolescent growth

I am participating in the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum September 2015 Blog Hop: Parenting Gifted/2E Kids on a Shoestring.